Exposure Response Prevention

Hello.

Short history - this summer will mark the 41st anniversary of my OCD. Been on just about every med. Zoloft worked great for eight years. I stopped in 2012 when other stresses made it seem like OCD have been cured. In 2015 I went on Lexapro, which I quit in 2017 when it stopped working. My family also felt like the Lexapro was making me really nasty. My OCD is thought-based, so there were never any obvious compulsions to prevent.

I found a book called "Mindfulness Workbook for OCD" which was life changing. It has chapters dedicated to each different type of OCD and I finally found my condition described as "Hyper-Awareness OCD."

I've been doing good in the 8 months since quitting Lexapro, but I have noticed an increased tendency toward "avoidance." My OCD is triggered by "intrusion." Essentially people that I don't like end up becoming triggers - I can be in a loud, crowded room and it's like their voices are all I hear. This results in me often getting madder at these people, constantly moving away, wearing earplugs, etc.

Anyway, one of these trigger-people is invading a space that I really don't want to avoid. I know the solution is to not avoid him, not block him out, etc. I've learned that that avoidance is just as real a physical compulsion as hand washing. I need to trust that exposure will work, but it's so terrifying to think that it won't and I would have been better off just running away.

Wish me luck!