When will this end

So now i have this irrational fear that my son is not really mine that i may not have even had him and the scary thing is it feels real and its scaring me cause in afriad im gonna start believing it

Although I don't have children I have had similar fears about other things. It's an awful place to be because after a while we can't tell if it is anxiety/fear/ocd or madness and the loss of reality (delusions).

I took a look at your other posts and it seems like you are bouncing from one fear to another with similarities in subject matter. This is not uncommon for people who suffer obsessive anxiety.

Although I can't tell you exactly what is happening because I am not a professional, it does look like you are running on a high level of anxiety, to a point where you need support. Are you seeing anyone, or on any type of medication?

Otter.

Im on a low miligram of celexa and waiting for insurance to get to a better psych doc. Its been awful.im anxiety levels are always high and i dint understand why i cant get a break from it. I have been dealing with the high levels of anxiety for 5 years now and im honstly tired of it.i have delt woth anxiety most if my life but it was controllable. The worst part of it it always has to he centered aroung my son... And sometimes my husband. And my son is the best thing that has ever happen to me

Since the kind of anxiety that produces OCD behavior produces irrational thoughts it tends to go after things we care about the most.

In most rational situations our fear has something to focus on. For instance, if there is a fire in your kitchen your fear is the fire and what it could do to you and the family. Someone with anxiety disorders will have higher levels of anxiety with no apparent source so the brain will seek one out. Naturally, it will find things that are close to us. Those thoughts that we dread worst.

It's cruel, I know, and I feel bad for what you are going through - I have been there.

Expecting to "live with" high levels of anxiety is not a good way to treat your illness. Eventually, the system will break down as you are finding out.

Do you discuss this with your husband? You have to try and focus on the fact that you have an illness and that the irrational thoughts are part of that illness. While you wait to find a better I might visit your GP and discuss a better dosage for your symptoms. Many GPs these days have a decent understanding of anxiety/depression symptoms and what may be a better dosage for the severity of the situation - that is, until you see a new pDoc. And I advise you see a pDoc that specializes in Anxiety Disorders.