Transgender ocd i am begging you to help me

wsdNn wrote:We can help each other. I am going therapist and i will ask are these feeling normal when you have ocd and i will post here next thursday. I reaaly dont want to be girl but this f**king ocd.... it feels just real

Thanks, I have been researching online (bad I know) but I am really in a bad palce right now and I can't cope and I was believing the thoughts this morning.

I found this article about TOCD: https://medium.com/@jemima.s/tocd-why-w ... 4b869a3817

And now there is even a documented case of TOCD in the medical literature: http://journals.aace.com/doi/pdf/10.4158/EP161223.CR


In the first article, the lady mentions a survey of people who thought they were trans and transitioned but then realised they weren't and it turns out some of them had obsessive thoughts about being trans which is what made them do it, rather than actually being trans.

Actually my compulsions are (i check my reactions when i think about being woman or having vagina instead of penis, looking mirror and checking my feelings about my male body and checking my reactions and feelings when i look at my genital area. But this weird feeling about my genital are i have it most of the time its not sometimes and it bothers me too does it mean i am trans because i have this feeeling most of the time

I have a machine, that, If I have my hand on it at the wrong time, could take it off. So I have to time things right.

If I leave my hand too long, I get a sudden adrenaline rush, and the sense of impending doom creates a very odd, and not entirely unpleasant, sensation in the genitals.

Two things from that: There's nothing to do with sex or gender about that-it is purely a response to stress. (the stress of if I don't move my hand, I could break it, or worse).

I do not interpret that, as a secret desire to be an amputee.

If you're panicking and obsessing over your naughty bits... There's not only the above anecdote to see that odd sensations can happen there, but, I don't know about you, but if I'm obsessing over, say,a part of my body, I'm going to be acutely, hyper, aware of it and every sensation....

Snaga wrote:I have a machine, that, If I have my hand on it at the wrong time, could take it off. So I have to time things right.

If I leave my hand too long, I get a sudden adrenaline rush, and the sense of impending doom creates a very odd, and not entirely unpleasant, sensation in the genitals.

Two things from that: There's nothing to do with sex or gender about that-it is purely a response to stress. (the stress of if I don't move my hand, I could break it, or worse).

I do not interpret that, as a secret desire to be an amputee.

If you're panicking and obsessing over your naughty bits... There's not only the above anecdote to see that odd sensations can happen there, but, I don't know about you, but if I'm obsessing over, say,a part of my body, I'm going to be acutely, hyper, aware of it and every sensation....

I see what you mean about the hyper-awareness but don't trans people get genital dysphoria, which is an uncomfortable feeling in the genital area (As far as I know) so what is the difference?

I find this all so confusing.

How does OCD make people think they are trans/gay/paedophile/murderers when they are not?

I jus want to know one thing these feelings caused by ocd or i am actually trans . If it is ocd i will fight with this but if i am trans then i want to end my life becuase being woman is not my desire only thing that bothers me this weird genital feeling and these images on my mind i am done with this in 1 week i can not imagine 5 years like you man i want to end my f***king life. I am in hell and nobody can understand me sometimes i look my friends and i say how lucky they are. They are just living their lives
But all the time my friends asking me whats wrong or why i am upset. Life is not enjoyable. For me every second that i am alive is like burning in hell. I prefer pyshical torture to this feelings emotions and thoughts in this situation suicide is my only option i think but i worry about my family and friends choosing suicide is like selfish decision

wsdNn wrote:I jus want to know one thing these feelings caused by ocd or i am actually trans . If it is ocd i will fight with this but if i am trans then i want to end my life becuase being woman is not my desire only thing that bothers me this weird genital feeling and these images on my mind i am done with this in 1 week i can not imagine 5 years like you man i want to end my f***king life. I am in hell and nobody can understand me sometimes i look my friends and i say how lucky they are. They are just living their lives
But all the time my friends asking me whats wrong or why i am upset. Life is not enjoyable. For me every second that i am alive is like burning in hell. I prefer pyshical torture to this feelings emotions and thoughts in this situation suicide is my only option i think but i worry about my family and friends choosing suicide is like selfish decision

Based on what you are saying, it does osund like an OCD issue. You say you would rather kill yourself than have to become a woman, trans people want to become their gender, they are more likely to kill themself if they can't become their true gender so it is the opposite.

Groinal responses and bodily hyper-awareness are two aspects of OCD so that could be what is manifesting as you uncomfortable genital feeling.

Have you sought any psychological support for what you are going through?

CBT with ERP is the best treatment for OCD.

I am getting therapy yes

wsdNn wrote:I am getting therapy yes

Are you finding that it is helping you?

Yes it helps but just helping not solvinf the problem, therapy is like supporting. You are the only one who can solve your problem in your mind and i am trying to do that. You need to remember that because mind issues are not like phsycial issues. You just cant get a medicine and get away with it you have to fight with this but my therapist said that i have to stop for looking answers also she said in my mind i should not fight with my ocd becuase if i continue to fighting it will get stronger and stronger. She thinks ocd is like cats, if you fed the cat it wont go away and wants more and more. You have to let the cat play with you just ignore the thoughts and feelings these feelings and thoughts are not you because people can not change suddenly. You just cant wake up as trans one day. She said also trans people feel gender dysphoria before the age 7-8 and they know they dont like their body and gender from that age. We need to be strong i know its hard becuase i am thinking about suicide sometimes but i have to be strong. Giving up is not an option

wsdNn wrote:Yes it helps but just helping not solvinf the problem, therapy is like supporting. You are the only one who can solve your problem in your mind and i am trying to do that. You need to remember that because mind issues are not like phsycial issues. You just cant get a medicine and get away with it you have to fight with this but my therapist said that i have to stop for looking answers also she said in my mind i should not fight with my ocd becuase if i continue to fighting it will get stronger and stronger. She thinks ocd is like cats, if you fed the cat it wont go away and wants more and more. You have to let the cat play with you just ignore the thoughts and feelings these feelings and thoughts are not you because people can not change suddenly. You just cant wake up as trans one day. She said also trans people feel gender dysphoria before the age 7-8 and they know they dont like their body and gender from that age. We need to be strong i know its hard becuase i am thinking about suicide sometimes but i have to be strong. Giving up is not an option

Thanks for sharing the cat analogy, it makes sense when put that way. Sorry to hear you think about suicide at times, I do that as well. I have faith in you that you can recover and get better