Does this sound like ocd? I’m terrified

I am dealing tocd right now and i am straight male. My hocd become tocd and my hocd compulsions or doubts are gone it is so crazy i was nearly sure that i am gay and i was upset but now i am sure that i’m straight no doubts but now i have doubts about being trans. And it is killing me. I dont even know what is real feelings now. I was comfortable with my body for 18 years and for 1 week i am feeling like i’m not comfortable with my genital when i feel like this i think i must be trans but then i am thinking about being girl and its just feels so wrong and stressful i have to be male, not trans not agender or genderfluid i have doubts about my ocd. Is this even ocd. How can i know.These feelings are so much real and in my mind it feels like i am trans and i hate my genital but it can not be true. I felt male for my entire life. It can not just pop up that i am trans. I want to have wife also childrens and when i feel like this it feels like i will never achieve my dreams. I dont give a f**k about what people think. I just dont want to be trans.

wsdNn wrote:It can not just pop up that i am trans. I want to have wife also childrens and when i feel like this it feels like i will never achieve my dreams. I dont give a f**k about what people think. I just dont want to be trans.

Hey you seem really upset and anxious right now and I understand that cause I’ve been living this exact same thing too but you need to relax, ocd is happy if you freak out about this stuff. I’ve been dealing with tocd for almost a year now and it was on and off (like I had other themes) but the thing is the more we try to convince our minds of something the less the ocd will listen. So try to look at the thoughts for what they are: thoughts and try to not be bothered by them too much I know how hard it is especially if you are spiking. I personally never experienced the feeling of hating my genitals but I instead have this little voice in my head going “are you sure you’re not trans?” (It’s not actually like that but you get the point). And also don’t be like me, talk to someone about it and maybe go to therapy it can really help

Hi.

Well, I think being trans and being a feminine male are two -very- different things. I’m a 20 year old gay male and when I was a kid I used to be a fan of Disney princesses, play with girls’ toys, wear skirts and walk at home.

Still, I can’t say that I’m the most feminine male ever but I obviously have feminine sides, the way I talk, the way I wear, etc. However, I’ve always accepted myself as a male. I like growing my beard, trimming it, like my body hair etc. and I like my combination of femininity & masculinity. I think that’s what makes me beautiful (if I am).

I’ve had a few trans friends and I know that all of them were really uncomfortable with their biological genders, their bodies since their early ages. An intense feeling like they’ve never belonged to the bodies they were born with. I don’t think it’s something that you can “doubt” or constantly ask yourself if you’re a trans.

I know OCD is a terrible thing, I’m also suffering from OCD and not knowing if your thoughts are real or just OCD is terrible, confusing and depressing. However, from my experience, a good therapist, or psychiatrist can help you figuring out your thoughts, help you understand that your obsessions are just ridiculous thoughts that your mind makes up. That way you can understand yourself better, if you’re really comfortable with your current gender or not. I haven’t been seeing a psychiatrist for a long time but I’m definitely planning to. Because I’m not able to control, understand or convince my mind while my mind is the thing that is playing all the tricks.

Dsy012 wrote:
I’ve had a few trans friends and I know that all of them were really uncomfortable with their biological genders, their bodies since their early ages. An intense feeling like they’ve never belonged to the bodies they were born with. I don’t think it’s something that you can “doubt” or constantly ask yourself if you’re a trans.

Thanks a lot of the reply I want to get a diagnosis so then I’ll understa better, btw what do you mean with “I don’t think it’s something you can constantly ask yourself?” You’re saying that I i were actually trans I wouldn’t be so obsessed with it? Cause I definitely hope so

^^ yup.

In my late twenties I thought I wanted to take hormones... but did I ever feel just in the wrong body? Not quite. No, not quite- just because some of us have a strong feminine side, and I do- doesn't make us trans in the sense of having to change our bodies or how we present to the world.

Crybaby92 wrote:

Dsy012 wrote:
I’ve had a few trans friends and I know that all of them were really uncomfortable with their biological genders, their bodies since their early ages. An intense feeling like they’ve never belonged to the bodies they were born with. I don’t think it’s something that you can “doubt” or constantly ask yourself if you’re a trans.

Thanks a lot of the reply I want to get a diagnosis so then I’ll understa better, btw what do you mean with “I don’t think it’s something you can constantly ask yourself?” You’re saying that I i were actually trans I wouldn’t be so obsessed with it? Cause I definitely hope so

Sorry for my English haha. Yes, I was trying to say that.

I totally agree with Snaga. All people have both masculine and feminine sides regardless of genders, percentages might vary for each person. It doesn’t have to mean that one’s not happy with his/her biological gender.

Snaga wrote:^^ yup.

In my late twenties I thought I wanted to take hormones... but did I ever feel just in the wrong body? Not quite. No, not quite- just because some of us have a strong feminine side, and I do- doesn't make us trans in the sense of having to change our bodies or how we present to the world.

I never ever felt in the wrong body I even wanted and I still want abs and such, yes I used to play with girls toys and I used to prefer female characters in games than males, but I never thought I was in the wrong body but since this obsession started I always have something in my head telling me I should think about it; it’s not even saying “oh damn I want to be a woman” it’s just constantly making me think of this possibility. Sometimes I wonder where would I be now if that night my obsession started I didn’t watch that documentary about gender. I just want to go back to before that

-- Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:56 pm --

Dsy012 wrote:

Crybaby92 wrote:

Dsy012 wrote:
I’ve had a few trans friends and I know that all of them were really uncomfortable with their biological genders, their bodies since their early ages. An intense feeling like they’ve never belonged to the bodies they were born with. I don’t think it’s something that you can “doubt” or constantly ask yourself if you’re a trans.

Thanks a lot of the reply I want to get a diagnosis so then I’ll understa better, btw what do you mean with “I don’t think it’s something you can constantly ask yourself?” You’re saying that I i were actually trans I wouldn’t be so obsessed with it? Cause I definitely hope so

Sorry for my English haha. Yes, I was trying to say that.

I totally agree with Snaga. All people have both masculine and feminine sides regardless of genders, percentages might vary for each person. It doesn’t have to mean that one’s not happy with his/her biological gender.

Don’t worry about your English mine isn’t great either, thanks again I always liked androgyny so I think i might fall into that category but my problem is how obsessive these thoughts are. I notice I tend to neglect everything else when they appear, it’s hard to concentrate even on tasks that at that moment are a lot more important. Idk if it’s just me but I find I tend to spike after a period of stress is it just me?

You’re welcome! I know. I’m also suffering from OCD and I know how overwhelming it is that your mind is always busy with obsessions and it can’t rest even for a moment, at least it’s like that for me. Even a lazy day at home in my bed leaves me both mentally and physically tired in the end. I also can’t focus on anything, like, I can’t focus on reading something even for 10 minutes. I’m in university and lost my scholarship already because of my grades etc.

The only reasonable solution seems to be therapy. I don’t believe I can heal my mind, well, with my mind, while it’s pretty dysfunctional for me at the moment. I’ll just end up creating new obsessive thoughts and try to figure out if they’re reasonable or just OCD. A professional help from the outside will be much more helpful than getting lost in unreasonable/unhealthy thoughts. Maybe it’s the same for you.

I want to try therapy, I really do I’m just scared of it. I understand what you mean when you say that not even relaxing is possible, I need to have my mind occupied with something because otherwise it will get to those thoughts

i am scared right now. These weird feelings about my genital it freaks me out. Can ocd do even that? manipulate my feelings ? I am feeling like its not ocd and thinking about this 7/24 it drives me crazy