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Could these weird feelings/thoughts be caused by OCD?

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Could these weird feelings/thoughts be caused by OCD?

Postby stella55 » Sun Jan 28, 2018 6:50 pm

Hello all,

I've been experiencing some weird feelings and emotions lately and for quite a while now I've been trying to find out what they are and what causes them. It's not exactly a symptom that falls into the definition of OCD, but I've learned that OCD is not just obsessions and compulsions, it can also cause a wide variety of different quirks. Unfortunately, the "symptom" is really abstract and maybe I'm unable to explain it properly, but I'll do my best. Well, here it goes.....

I believe most OCD sufferers have experienced derealization at one point or another. Well, the feelings that I'm getting are similar to it:

Feeling No. 1: I can look at a person, usually someone very close to me, and something about them will feel off, but I can't point out what exactly. I just stare at them and "feel" that something about them is strange. But it's not that I don't recognize them. I know who they are and I know that I know them. It's just this weird feeling. It can also happen while looking at photos. For instance, I was looking at some old photos of my family vacation. Looking at my mother's face, I started feeling very strange. As if there was something off about her. And I felt like I need to stare at the face, and then something will "pop" and I will come to some sort of conclusion. But of course, nothing of this sort ever happens.

Feeling No. 2: This is a really strange one. You could actually call it an opposite of derealization and of feeling No. 1.
I can look at someone (usually someone close to me, just like in feeling No. 1) and get this bizarre feeling that they look very familiar, like they are somehow very "real", like I'm hyperaware of them. Which is a paradox by itself, because of course they're familiar to me, I know them. It even feels like I'm on the verge of suddenly remembering something or making an association while looking at them. Or that they strongly remind me of someone else. Of course, I never remember anything, it's just a weird momentary feeling. It goes away quite soon if I stop focusing on this feeling and direct my attention elsewhere.
And it can actually happen with inanimate objects as well, although very rarely - I will look at an object and feel as if this object is very significant, as if I'm about to remember something if I continue looking at it, but I never do. Although one time I looked at a tile of a fireplace and suddenly made an association with the cover of an air vent in my old house. Why? Because the tile had the exact same shape and size of that cover. Bizarre.

As you can see, you can't really say that these feelings are negative or distressing. Nevertheless, this symptom is new to me and that's what concerns me. I have severe health anxiety, so I can suspect that this is the onset of dementia to brain tumor. Originally, I posted some of this on a derealization forum, but no one could really relate to these "feelings".
Since OCD is my dominant mental health condition, I thought maybe that's what could cause it. Moreover, OCD can also play tricks on you, for instance, you can get this strong feeling that you forgot something really important, even though you checked it many many times. It sort of "clings" onto things and makes you "feel" like something is off.

I hope someone can help me find the answers as to what causes this!! All replies and theories are very welcome. :)
stella55
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