Will someone answer please

For those of you who have harm ocd do you ever doubt that it’s ocd. Do you ever feel afraid that you want to do the thing that causing all of this discomfort? Does it ever feel real to y’all? I’m asking because I sometimes feel these ways when I’m in the midst of a bad episode. And no I don’t enjoy feeling or thinking this way. It actually makes me a nervous wreck. And that’s a giant understatement. See I was feeling like this episode was leaving last night and it felt so nice. I felt sure that it was ocd but my ocd self had to get online and compare myself to truly violent ppl. Just to make sure I wasn’t crazy. I couldn’t go with the flow and leave well enough alone and I read something that spiked me terribly. Now I’ve been a nervous wreck all day and the I want to harm thought is trying to resurface. When I have moments of clarity I know it’s all ocd. But when it’s back I don’t. Is this pretty normal for y’all too?

I have experienced this many times. You are definitely not alone.

Thanks for the reply ! I have experienced this on and off for 30 yrs and it always destroys me. How does it feel so real? It’s really crazy. It’s the exact opposite of who I am but when I’m like this I don’t even feel like I know who I am. How do you handle the doubts