harm ocd.. is this a true intrusive thought ?

I am having sort of a relapse with my ocd I believe. I was annoyed with my self and my boyfriend( for really no reason, I've been feeling super emotional the past few months. I believe it might be my birth control to blame) but anyways I was in the shower and I was trying to figure out why I was upset besdies the fact that I just didn't get my way. And I know I was being silly. But I had a thought that was "kill him" and I don't know if I was immediately upset or not but I knew it was ridiculous and brushed it off for a few minutes. And then holy $#%^ it kicked it and I realized I need to be upset because what the hell am I thinking I would never do that and why the hell did that even come into my head.

I ended up in a rabbit hole and now Ive convinced my self it's not ocd, and that im hearing voices and have schizophrenia. Please help me. This is especially worse because I have felt so emotional and out of touch lately. I have dealt with this before along with some POCD and relationship ocd. I could never hurt my boyfriend or anyone. But I'm so scared as to why this popped in my head. And I always fear like that I make my self sound better to validate my ocd when I am in fact crazy:(

Also the part about maybe not being initially fearful of the thought is bothering me. I was trying to just dismiss it I guess but I feel horrible. I'm trying to use my CBT techniques but I'm scared this is different.

Remember thoughts are just thoughts and don't mean anything. The fact you're posting this alone is already enough proof you dislike the thought. Try to not beat yourself up about such a meaningless thought. Also it's very likely that you thinking you have schizophrenia is just ocd irrational thinking.