ROCD- Excessive Worrying about "Liking" occasional male attn

Hi all,
I'm a 29f who is happily married and we are expecting our first child soon. I have been with my husband over 7 years. I have never once doubted our relationship or had feelings for another person since being with him.

Throughout our relationship, I have done my fair share of drinking/partying. Thinking back on some night out with girl friends--I've noticed that after I've been drinking I sometimes "enjoy" some male attention. I will have conversations with other men but absolutely try not to feel like I'm flirting in anyway. In the moment I beat myself up about it but afterwards is far worse. Lately I just can't get over the fact that I sometimes "enjoy" feeling attractive/given attention by men. I KNOW that I would never cheat-but I cannot shake the fact that I am a terrible unfaithful wife for having enjoyed this attention once in a while. It is taking me all I can not to confess to my husband. I have confessed frequently in the past and although he understands my OCD well, it still hurts to hear for him, which I completely understand. I also know this is "giving in" to it.

Ugh-any help/suggestions appreciated. Really struggling how to shake this immense guilt.

Have you dealt with rumination/obsessive thoughts over this same thing in the past? You kind of alluded to that; what happened to cause those worries to subside the last time? As far as I know (I'm a married woman also, age 40, married for almost 14 years), enjoying male attention is normal, and well within the normal parameters of a faithful marriage. We all experience thoughts similar to this, but I think with OCD we tend to jump to conclusions and blow the significance of them, out of proportion. I'm guessing that because you've been worrying about this for some time, that you've asked yourself what the root fear is. Ultimately, with OCD, you can analyze until you're blue in the face, come to what you think is an adequate conclusion, and then proceed to obsess over the same thing all over again. The real question is, how do you let it go and get on with living your life, because you are expecting your first child, and you don't need or deserve to be saddled with worry over what amounts to a molehill.

If you are not actively seeing a psychiatrist or nurse practitioner/therapist combo, then you need to do that. If this is causing you a significant amount of mental distress/stress, that's when you know, hey, I need some help managing this. Best of luck and blessings to you and your family.

First of all it’s completely normal to like a little attention and want to feel attractive. Second I agree with the previous comment if it’s causing you this much stress you should see a professional.

Thank you both.
Yes. This is a frequent recurring worry/rumination in my OCD. Anything relating to me be unfaithful (which I have never been) or being undeserving of my husband/family..my OCD just takes this, twists it, and runs with it. I feel the root of the fear is that I am not as good of a person as my husband and am undeserving of him. It becomes very debilitating.
I do realistically know that people have these thoughts about liking attention of the opposite sex without it being "wrong". However, as you guys know I'm sure, it doesn't always matter what you realistically think with OCD.

I have been on medication for over 6 years for OCD. With pregnancy, my doctor and I decided to discontinue it until I give birth. This is likely a large reason as to why I am having such a difficult time "fighting" my obsessions lately. With medication (prozac) I have an easier time using self talk and allowing myself to move on faster.
Although I want to stay off medication, I agree it's probably an important step to seek therapy in the mean time. I have done talk therapy with some ERP in the past and it intensified my symptoms. My therapist was not very aware of pure-o so she was really learning along with me. Looking back into it is probably a good idea.