Sexual experimentation ocd

Me and a friend used to experiment when we were young. Started out playing nurse and looking at each other’s privates and touching. Then as we got old into tweens/teens we would engage into more attempting sexual acts. We never had intercourse but dry rubbing on one another with no bottoms on and tried fellatio a few times. I started getting obsessed with this a couple years ago and thinking it was absuive behavior on my part. I was older by 2 years. I was mainly the one that Iniated the play and most of the time it was my idea. I never forced her by physical force or threats. Mainly just we can play this if you play this with me or begging possibly. Anyway it’s been almost 2 decades ago since this took place but from time to time I can’t shake it. I have spoke to her a couple times about this. Each time she says we were just dumb kids. No need to worry. She said I did pressure her at times but not a big deal. Just to let it go. I do have ocd and I think it has latched on to this topic to make me think I’m a abuser. Does this sound abusive?