instrusive cuckoldry fetish fear

Hey guys! i'm new here so please be supportive.

i've always been the really jealous type and recently got my first gf. (i'm 16). even tho she's my first gf we decided to sleep together and it was fun. i've also dealt with anxiety and intrusive thoughts in the past. but one day i read upon cuckoldry. i obviously wasn't into the fetish but it was just interesting how someone could ever get turned on by that. i thought it was kinda funny. but then i got scared that what if secretly deep down i'm into it or what if one day i look at the fetish with a new perspective and get into it. or what if i become OK with the idea my gf / future wife sleeping with other guys. thai is freaking me out so much and it has affected my daily life. i think about it 24/7 and constantly have to find ways to reassure i'm not a cuck. i don't ever want to be a cuck. i keep getting images of my gf in bed with someone else and it makes me sick to my stomach and full of anxiety but deep deep deep down i get kinda aroused. idk if this is just cause i'm imagining sex and no matter who and what it's always gonna be somewhat arousing. oh and also i am not addicted to porn in any way. i rarely watch it as when i masturbate i just use my imagination. last time i watched it was a month ago.

honestly i never want to become a cuck. do you guys think i am or will?????????

please any help will be great. also i'm looking for solutions that don't have to do with a therapy or counseling.

Hello and welcome.

You'll notice we've placed this in OCD-that's not a pronouncement, but this seems to be similar to intrusive fears of being gay, transgender, etc.

Like those things-you're worrying about something that hasn't happened, yet.

We can't talk about fetishes on PF, but this does seem to be more a fear of it, than the thing, itself.

My advice would be that with an anxiety like this, you have to make your mind up, that you're not a cuck, and stick to that story, in the face of these thoughts. Intrusive fears can be quite insistent and you'll come up with reason, after reason, to stay afraid.

Have you been cuckolded? No.

Have you plans to (and not in some vague future)? No?

Then let the evidence speak for itself, and insist to yourself, that you're not....

Very insightful, by the way, to guess that perhaps the titillation you do feel, is because it's sex. I think you're close to the truth with that. Sex titillates, even when it's something you don't want to do, yourself...

I am in a similar situation right now. I am starting to hate my brain for it