Some OCD questions.Need help,desperately,please.

Hey guys! So let me start of by saying that i had HOCD like 3 years ago,it was pretty bad,all of a sudden i asked myself "Am i gay?" and started obssesing,was pretty depressed but eventually got better,saw a psychiatrist (which i'm still seeing every couple of months),got some medications.Now these past 2-3 months i've been obssesing if i'm addicted to porn,i obssesed about that too 3 years ago along with the HOCD part and now it's kinda back but not as bad,is like deep down I'M SURE that i'm not addicted because honestly if i watch it it'll be for about 10-15 minutes a day,sometimes with a few days without watching it.But whenever i start obsessing "Hey am i addicted"? I tend to think more about porn and get aroused.Honestly it is not so bad,because i really don't spend a lot of time watching it,but the thoughts are annoying as hell.

Now for my other question,about 2-3 days,out of nowhere it popped in my head...What if i'm a pedophile? It was out of nowhere,i've never been attracted to children,been around them a lot,never had any sexual thoughts,but i can't stop obssesing myself abou it.I'm scared and anxious,i keep checking in my brain if i'm a pedophile,i'll come to the conclusion that i am definitely not,but then my brain is like...BUT WAIT,WHAT IF? And over and over again,endless loop.I KINDA know that this will pass,because a lot of obssesing i had faded over time,but still my brain likes to think "What if these thoughts never pass"? Also i've never been attracted to children,always been attracted to girls around my age,i'm 25 btw,also i'm attracted to older women aswell.But ever since these thoughts popped up,i've been trying to pretty much revisit my past and see if i've ever been attracted to children.And the answer is pretty much NO,but i'm still obssesing.Also the question am i pedophile popped in my brain a couple of times in the future,but the answer has always been "No".This time my brain decided to hang on it for a while,and i'm scared and anxious,questiong over and over.

And last question and i'm really ashamed of this,but once i masturbated to the thought of my sister,this was when i was a teenager.Also as a kid,maybe i was 10-12 i was sleeping with my cousin in the same bed and i tried grabbing her ass or something,i really don't remember that well,same thing once happened with my mother when i was around the same age.Never happened since,after it happened,the next day i was like OMG WHY DID I EVEN THINK OF DOING THAT,felt ashamed,huge remorse.Never really thought about it really.Like literally this last question popped in my head like 15 minutes ago,wasn't even planning to write about it,but my brain seems to remind me of all the shameful remorseful things i done that i never thought about for 15 years at the strangest times.I don't know what they mean,were these things just child curiosity or do they mean something?


I would really love and appreciate any answers you have for me,sorry for the long post,but i'm desperate to hear what you think about these issues of mine.Thanks a lot and sorry for the long-ish post! Cheers!

Any opinions,please?

Well it's obvious you just have OCD. I think you already know the answer on that last question. Offcourse it means nothing. I mean a 12 year old is turned on by almost everything and basically theyre horny cringy kids. I'm sure many of us have done 'worse' shameful things when we were a kid.

This forum is so dead btw..

Thanks for the answer matey! Yeah i pretty much know that everything is just because of the OCD,but you know how OCD works,just makes you check over and over again.I'm better now although i know i'll still have days when i'll overthink stuff.And yeah haha,seems like it's pretty much dead

Best of luck for you!

Also, have you tried exposure therapy? For me it really helps. Its scary at first to be confronted with your fears but soon the anxiety is lowered. I think it might really help you to find a therapist and do exposure. If you cant get a therapist maybe you can do a little exposure on your own? Just start small. You dont have to confront yourself directly with a situation that causes you too much anxiety but maybe try to lower the compulsions step by step. It will be very tempting to do your compulsions but try to resist and you will see in the long run you'll be less anxious.

Please note that I'm not a professional but just wanted to share what I THINK is worth a try.