I can't handle OCD anymore

If you read my last post about an appointment with a psychiatrist. He did not think I had OCD or that I needed medication and instead thought I needed to be independent from my parents. It felt like my mom was the patient and not me. I found a new psychiatrist and booked him on ZocDoc. He has great reviews, a few blocks from me, and is a professional member of the American Psychiatric Association, wrote in his description he treats OCD, and is in our insurance plan. The appointment is July 5 though. There are no docs that good in Brooklyn. There were a few in Manhattan who had earlier appointments available, but none were in our insurance plan. It's OK. I read their reviews and I was doubtful they would prescribe meds. My dad told me that if he has to pay out of pocket, this will be the last psych he will pay for. Plus I don't want to appear a hypochondriac. I was very picky about my psychiatrist. I wouldn't choose an under 4 star rating and read reviews carefully. My dad once told me I don't have OCD since this previous doc did not prescribe meds.

One month is still quite a long time. I am getting pimples having my period soon and my OCD gets worse on my period. I have a friend who insists I don't need medication, despite the fact that he is with me most of the day and sees me walking back and forth. He invited me to his therapy group. The director spoke to my mother and says I should apply for SSI so I can get Medicaid. She feels I don't need meds but said I need to see a psychiatrist at least once every 6 months just for observation. In one session she spoke about obsessive thoughts but it didn't help. 2 days ago my mom told me I can make an appointment again with the same psychiatrist who didn't treat my OCD. I told my mom last year I was late to a psychotherapy appointment just because I went back to the beach boardwalk to take a different exit. She said she is like that sometimes and even dad is like that sometimes. I told her to see a psychiatrist and she said she doesn't feel she has a disorder. My mom once told me to go to the primary doc he will prescribe HERBS.

So I have learned not to talk to anyone about OCD except in safe spaces like Reddit, psychforums, etc. I don't need to hear right now I don't need meds or everyone is a little OCD while I deal with this disorder. A friend told me my synagogue offers free entrepreneurship lectures and I asked him to walk home with me. He asked why was I walking back and forth and I asked if he ever dealt with OCD. He said when he was a child he was treated for OCD. He refused to walk between polls. I guess since these lectures are tonight I will talk to him about this after the lectures. But others no since they are ignorant. I can't believe this many people are ignorant. Now I was once ignorant. At I kept checking doors to see if I locked them. Though I questioned whether I was in fact OCD because washing my hands wasn't my symptom. Though before I found out I had OCD the director of a different group said she is OCD sometimes. I can't handle this anymore. I was offended but didn't say anything. I don't understand why people would joke about a debilitating disorder. Here are some of my symptoms.
- In the shower I count 1, 2, 3 4, 5, 6, than again 1, 2, 3 4, 5, 6, than again 1, 2, 3 4, 5, 6. I have to get out of the shower at 6. If I get out a few seconds later, I have to feel cold water with my hand to negate the hot water.
- I also have to walk on a certain side of the sidewalk. If I walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk, I go back and walk the other side of the sidewalk.
- I avoid stepping on manhole covers. Yesterday I walked back after crossing the street just to walk on the other side of the manhole cover.
- I debate which underwear to wear, even if both are the same and it ultimately doesn't matter