Hello, everyone.
I’m having a bit of a mental battle going on right now, especially with my OCD. I suffer a lot from intrusive thoughts, mainly incest and bestiality come into play. When i was younger around 10, i was sexually assaulted continuously and my mother knew but did nothing to stop it. My mother would also demand to see my vagina and breasts when i would shower. I think this is where the incest part comes into play. (i have been seeing a therapist regarding this)
However, when the sexual assault was happening, i had intrusive thoughts about having sex with dogs. I just couldn’t seem to drop it and i ended up acting upon it when i was 11 or so. I’ll spare details, but basically i forced myself to try several times to see if i was aroused by it. I never was, and i never tried that stuff again.
So, now that i’m 28, for some reason it’s been plaguing my mind that i did that when i was younger. It has popped into my brain so much that i’m just so, so tired of it. I know it’s my brain trying to see if i’m aroused by the situation, which i’m not, i know i’m not. But i went as far as to look at porn related to that and i became aroused. I know it was from the women moaning (i’m bisexual), but my brain is trying to swing it to say that it’s about the dogs. I masturbated after watching porn that i normally watch, but my brain is also saying that i got off on the bestiality.
I’m just lost and I want this stuff to stop. How do i tell myself that the intrusive thoughts are making me feel/think this way and it’s not actually me, if that makes sense?? Cuz now i’m in a whirlwind of thinking i must be a zoophile
Thank you for your time
News
Site map
SitemapIndex
RSS Feed