Harm ocd or something worse?????

've been diagnosed with ocd since I was about 5 years old. I've had almost every obsession imaginable and was on meds for a good part of my childhood. For the past 3 years, I have been dealing with what I think is harm ocd. To make a long story short, I have constant intrusive thoughts about killing people and just about any other horrible thing you could imagine. It's not the thoughts that bother me though, I can deal with those, it's the urges. At times I feel like I actually want to hurt people and I'm not sure if this is just my OCD tricking me or if this is real emotion. I guess my question is, can harm ocd make you feel like you really want to kill people or should I go to a mental hospital immediately. I honestly hate these feelings but at the same time my OCD makes them feel good. I really don't want to hurt anyone but I feel like I'm losing control. Somebody please help!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ocd23451 wrote:I've been diagnosed with ocd since I was about 5 years old. I've had almost every obsession imaginable and was on meds for a good part of my childhood. For the past 3 years, I have been dealing with what I think is harm ocd. To make a long story short, I have constant intrusive thoughts about killing people and just about any other horrible thing you could imagine. It's not the thoughts that bother me though, I can deal with those, it's the urges. At times I feel like I actually want to hurt people and I'm not sure if this is just my OCD tricking me or if this is real emotion. I guess my question is, can harm ocd make you feel like you really want to kill people or should I go to a mental hospital immediately. I honestly hate these feelings but at the same time my OCD makes them feel good. I really don't want to hurt anyone but I feel like I'm losing control. Somebody please help!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've bolded some of your post to help with my answer.

First, we know that you have OCD (diagnosed). You say you feel but feeling doesn't always mean desire. Since you suffer OCD that is fueled by anxiety it could be the anxiety that is a feeling misunderstood as a desire to act violently. Finally, you admit that you don't want to hurt someone. This contradicts what you have been saying. Like many posts in this forum, you are afraid of losing control, or in someone will become something that you don't want to be.

I think most people that want to act out in a random violent way, don't have the same thoughts you do.

Whatever the case, I would suggest seeing your doctor/therapist if your fear continues to be this severe.

Otter.