What do I do in this situation? HOCD

helloagain wrote:The key to OCD is - DON'T TAKE DOUBTS SERIOUSLY IF THEY HAVE A LESS THAN 50% CHANCE OF BEING RIGHT. IGNORE THEM AND MOVE ON.

I came across this nice article by an ex-sufferer:
http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/community/p ... -seriously

Well that's a weird thing to say, as we can never know if our obsessions have or don't have "a less than 50% chance of being right"..

Oops! I must have drawn the wrong inference. Could you please read the article and tell me what he really means?

Well I mean it's pretty basic..it's about how you shouldn't take doubts seriously..

Introspectah- Believe it or not, I started questioning because I didn't feel like I was "butch enough." Dumb, I know. That and not having any recent new crushes made me worry I'd never get one again

How frequently would a crush need to reappear in order for you to be reassured in your sexual orientation?

Introspectah- Believe it or not, I started questioning because I didn't feel like I was "butch enough." Dumb, I know.

So now that you have realized this particular anxious uncertainty to have been''dumb'' (for which i don't see the need to condemn it so harshly) or, rather, unthoughtful or inconsiderate, has this then taken away a part of your anxiety regarding the possibility of ever having to identify as bi- or heterosexual?

Well your not being rude in your response to me... but you sound very lesbian If he gets his girl bits removed, that doesn't float your boat!

Interesting thing you said about worrying that you're not butch enough... lol what happened to bring a lipstick lesbian? And I know straight girls that are very butch. That's no indication sweetie...

Introspectah- Well now that you say it that way, it sounds stupid. I've known people who've gone without crushes/attractions for a long time and it didn't disrupt their sexuality. I suppose I'm just worrying over the silliest of things.. but, it just makes me worry if I don't get crushes often enough then my orientation will start to fade. I've been told that's ridiculous though.

As for the butch thing, that's become a separate obsession on how I feel afraid I won't be able to express my gender/sexuality the way I want to and that I'm just "posing." But even though it's not part of the sexuality obsession anymore, I still have many worries, thoughts, and "what-ifs" that pop in my head keeping this stupid fear fueled..

Snaga- thank you for your input. It helps.

Hi Kip

If you had a crush on the person when he was a girl then you're definitely not turning straight. Maybe there is just something you admire about him (as in his personality) that has you still crushing on him.

If the idea of being with a guy turns you off completely that alone should say you are 100% lesbian. If you've always loved girls your whole life no amount of anxiety or OCD should change that. As for not being 'butch' enough, you shouldn't become like that just to feel comfortable about your sexuality. You can be feminine and lesbian at the same time (and as Snaga pointed out, there are butch girls who are straight).

I've given advice like this already to someone else but perhaps you should spend some time doing something to clear your mind and lick your wounds. Is there a park in your area? Take a nice stroll and breathe the air of nature as that will help to relax you. Once you learn to find the simple things to relax you, your orientation should come back naturally. Good luck.

Thanks, Marco. That helps