Need YOUR help. Fear of liking penises.

So I've been pretty stressed for like two hours now. Can't fall asleep. I've had multiple HOCD, POCD episodes before. Now I'm really worried about penises. This has bugged me for months and I just can't get it out of my head!! I can't resist the stress anymore.


When I watch straight porn I like seeing the guy penetrate the woman. I like seeing the guy penetrating the woman and seeing all of her body move. Does that make me gay? When I fap I usually try to imagine my dick giving pleasure to the woman I'm fantasizing about. For some reason I look at my penis and I slowly fap it. I don't wanna be gay please help me! I'm very afraid of that being gay... I don't like men, I don't like their parts nor do I like them in general. I don't find attractive the idea of being penetrated sexy, I don't find the idea of sucking a penis attractive at all. I've been thinking that I like focusing on my penis giving pleasure to a woman because, well, I've never had sex and I sorta need something to say to me "you will have sex trust me, because you have a penis that turns women on" and the only thing around there to empower is probably my penis, which I think is slightly bigger than usual. I've probably got a problem with rejection, and I'm afraid of being rejected by girls due to my personality or my appearance. I feel like the only thing that doesn't feel awkward in me is my penis... I don't know. I can very socially awkward at times, even though I'm extroverted.


I do like lesbian porn a lot. Especially when they kiss. I love how girls's lips look.

Even though I (for some reason) usually finish pretty fast when I'm watching straight porn I usually look at lesbian porn more. I don't know, I feel uncomfortable when I cum and I feel like I might be gay for looking at the penis make the girl moan and penetrate her. I mean, I fear being gay for looking at the penis at all. I do enjoy the part where the girl moans and likes it. I've realized that I only get turned on when I think about THE GIRL getting turned on though.


All I want is myself to not be gay, to just feel normal and to really make that "focus on penises" thing go away. I don't like fapping while focusing on a dick giving the girl pleasure if that might make me gay. And even if I'm not I'd rather watch lesbian porn... But I don't feel powerful when watching lesbian porn... Agh! I just don't wanna be gay. I'm also really afraid of being some kind of gay man in denial. I would hate that scenario. I just wanna feel straight. I'd feel way happier.

the only thing that makes you gay is sucking a dick, jerking off a guy, making out with men or getting banged by a dude

have you done any of that?

crazydoodle wrote:So I've been pretty stressed for like two hours now. Can't fall asleep. I've had multiple HOCD, POCD episodes before. Now I'm really worried about penises. This has bugged me for months and I just can't get it out of my head!! I can't resist the stress anymore.


When I watch straight porn I like seeing the guy penetrate the woman. I like seeing the guy penetrating the woman and seeing all of her body move. Does that make me gay? When I fap I usually try to imagine my dick giving pleasure to the woman I'm fantasizing about. For some reason I look at my penis and I slowly fap it. I don't wanna be gay please help me! I'm very afraid of that being gay... I don't like men, I don't like their parts nor do I like them in general. I don't find attractive the idea of being penetrated sexy, I don't find the idea of sucking a penis attractive at all. I've been thinking that I like focusing on my penis giving pleasure to a woman because, well, I've never had sex and I sorta need something to say to me "you will have sex trust me, because you have a penis that turns women on" and the only thing around there to empower is probably my penis, which I think is slightly bigger than usual. I've probably got a problem with rejection, and I'm afraid of being rejected by girls due to my personality or my appearance. I feel like the only thing that doesn't feel awkward in me is my penis... I don't know. I can very socially awkward at times, even though I'm extroverted.


I do like lesbian porn a lot. Especially when they kiss. I love how girls's lips look.

Even though I (for some reason) usually finish pretty fast when I'm watching straight porn I usually look at lesbian porn more. I don't know, I feel uncomfortable when I cum and I feel like I might be gay for looking at the penis make the girl moan and penetrate her. I mean, I fear being gay for looking at the penis at all. I do enjoy the part where the girl moans and likes it. I've realized that I only get turned on when I think about THE GIRL getting turned on though.


All I want is myself to not be gay, to just feel normal and to really make that "focus on penises" thing go away. I don't like fapping while focusing on a dick giving the girl pleasure if that might make me gay. And even if I'm not I'd rather watch lesbian porn... But I don't feel powerful when watching lesbian porn... Agh! I just don't wanna be gay. I'm also really afraid of being some kind of gay man in denial. I would hate that scenario. I just wanna feel straight. I'd feel way happier.

Re-read your post. If all of this is true, you're not gay.

Maybe you're confused because somehow watching some other guy's penis pleasuring a woman brings forth feelings of inferiority because you are inexperienced. You could be confusing identifying with his penis with being attracted to his penis.

MrsBrightside wrote:the only thing that makes you gay is sucking a dick, jerking off a guy, making out with men or getting banged by a dude

It's not what you think about, it's what you do. I'm gay and I sometimes think of women when I masturbate.