HOCD: I need an urgent answer, Please. It feels too real

So I was at school today and I saw one of my false attractions. He was smiling and talking and all that. I got a sudden feeling in my stomach/chest area. It felt like real attraction, like I wanted to see that kid more, date him, kiss him, etc. BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY OF THIS! But the OCD keeps telling me I want to. And when I think about all those actions, I feel that I may enjoy it. I hate it so much. I couldn't stop thinking about that attraction feeling all day. It felt so real. I'm scared and feel depressed. I don't want to be bisexual. The anxiety has been decreasing a lot lately but the fear is still definitely there. This decrease in anxiety worries me, but I read it's normal to feel no anxiety after a while.

The false attraction felt very real. But I don't want it. I want it gone. I get scared, start ruminating and thinking about it non-stop. I'm depressed, feel like giving up.

I don't want to do anything sexual with the same sex, I feel disgusted.

Was this "attraction" feeling OCD?

It feels too convincing.

It is a characteristic feature of OCD that it invariably tells you to do something that you do not want to do (suggestion). You are invariably repulsed by the suggestion. And you are anxious that you may end up doing it nevertheless (obsession). But the fact that you are repulsed by it, and the anxiety that you might do it prevents you from doing it and OCD loses the battle in the sense that it cannot make you carry out its suggestion. But it wins the battle in the sense that it makes you anxious and makes you look for ways to reduce your anxiety, like seeking reassurance and doing research on the topic(compulsion). The solution is to allow the obsession to exist (since thoughts cannot be stopped or diverted). But the compulsions should be prevented. Don't seek reassurance and don't research the topic.

Consider any doubt as an OCD thought and avoid seeking answer to it. Seeking answer is a compulsion and must be avoided at all costs. Don't be fooled by its reality since OCD thoughts always appear real. The resulting uncertainty will cause anxiety which is healthy and must be faced rather than avoided. After a while the anxiety will subside. This is the right way to beat OCD. It is called Exposure and Response Prevention.

Saigal wrote:It is a characteristic feature of OCD that it invariably tells you to do something that you do not want to do (suggestion). You are invariably repulsed by the suggestion. And you are anxious that you may end up doing it nevertheless (obsession). But the fact that you are repulsed by it, and the anxiety that you might do it prevents you from doing it and OCD loses the battle in the sense that it cannot make you carry out its suggestion. But it wins the battle in the sense that it makes you anxious and makes you look for ways to reduce your anxiety, like seeking reassurance and doing research on the topic(compulsion). The solution is to allow the obsession to exist (since thoughts cannot be stopped or diverted). But the compulsions should be prevented. Don't seek reassurance and don't research the topic.

What about the attraction feeling that I got? Was that OCD? It felt so real, made me feel worried and made me doubt it was actually OCD. Is it all OCD?

*mod edit* Oth4rwise you would have been certain, not doubtful, and might have even liked the thought, rather than feeling distressed.

Saigal wrote:*mod edit* Oth4rwise you would have been certain, not doubtful, and might have even liked the thought, rather than feeling distressed.

That's the thing though. It feels like I like it, but in reality, I hate it so much. I want that "like it" feeling gone. I get that feeling every time I get a false attraction and start getting really scared and worried and anxious. Is this OCD? Is that "like it" feeling just anxiety?

Are you scared that you are gay or that you are straight? In other words do you WANT to be straight or gay? Your orientation depends on that. Most HOCDs think their orientation depends on how they FEEL. So they keep checking. That's the mistake they make. You ARE what you WANT to be, not what you FEEL you are.

With the caveat that want, and wish, are two things- I can WISH I was straight; I WANT to get freaky with whatever I fancy.

I have never experienced, the gut-level terror of not being straight, someone with HOCD has. With no proof contradicting your previous idea of your sexuality. I think when you're really something, you don't have to doubt, wonder, and certainly not keep checking! You like it, or you don't. And if youre not sure, you try, or at least, wish you had moxie to.

A nagging need to keep checking- sounds like me checking I unplugged something... based on fear and the need to be constantly reassured.