HOCD but internalized/closeted *trigger*

Hating straight people isn't very fair. Yes some of them are homophobic but there are also many straight people who have gay friends and are very accepting. You can't tar them all with the same brush. Hating people with HOCD is doubly worse. You've had OCD so you must realise how bad it is doubt yourself so completely. People with HOCD are not homophobic, they just panic as they know deep down that they are straight. I know this because on another forum there was a lesbian with HOCD who knew she was gay but was panicking she might be straight and it felt wrong. She wasn't heterophobic. It's the same thing just in reverse.

And before you accuse me of being homophobic, I am gay too. Yes, it isn't easy. But neither is HOCD.

I could care less if it makes me look bad. At the end of the day, I know what I like and don't like. *mod edit*

johnnygee wrote:I could care less if it makes me look bad. At the end of the day, I know what I like and don't like. *mod edit* .

Well, I think is just up to you to decide if you are fine with it... If you feel better with yourself hating people for whatever reason, be yourself. As the other poster says, I am not homophobic at all. At least not in the hating people but perhaps I am in the fearing homosexuality because all the crap we hear since childhood. In any case, fearing anything is not our fault.

By the way, what do you mean with your last sentence (I don't usually speak English and can extract two meanings to many expressions...).

It's an insult. *mod edit*

johnnygee wrote:It's an insult. It means I met the standards of something and you didn't. In this case, I conquered Pocd and you haven't conquered hocd.

Ok, uhmm... I suppose that saying "thank you" would be strange here... But at least I have improved my English so... Thank you for that. Anyway, I am always happy to read that people has conquered OCD as it is a proof that it can be done. I have been struggling with many different themes since I was eight (30 years ago..).

Perhaps you don't believe me but I FULLY UNDERSTAND why you act the way you do but for the good of people here I also believe it would be more productive if instead of insulting and expressing rage, you posted about how you conquered fears.

Bests

Well, it's better to feel anger than fear.

johnnygee wrote:Well, it's better to feel anger than fear.

Probably, but is is just another way of feeling secured. I was always feeling anger when I was young towards other people. Then one day realized I was not better than them and here I am, feeling scared of everything. I suppose both extremes are a manifestation of the same thing, a problem within us. Feeling anger is still a bad sensation, the best would be feeling nothing special, just living our lives. Anger against others is just a way of projecting our fears and suffering into others so we can lift the weights on our shoulders as "we are not to blame for our pain, others are". This way, as explained by my psycho we can feel a bit better and manage our lives but the problem is still there.

I desire you the best and welcome your suggestions to improve this.

lol Goodbye.

johnnygee wrote:lol Goodbye.

*mod edit*

*mod edit*