Need help with unusual OCD

I have been diagnosed with OCD. My therapist has been unhelpful and while I am on medication I really need someone to talk too. I have unusual OCD thoughts that I don't even know if they are OCD or me slowly losing my mind. I was handling it alright for a while but now it is getting worse. I can't think straight anymore. I don't feel emotions anymore. My mind is active 24/7. My OCD thoughs are so bizarre that nobody else can relate to them and I fear there may be something wrong with me other than OCD. I have numerous obsessions right now. Sometimes I have fear of harming someone which is what a lot of other people go through with OCD. BUt I also have philosophical OCD. I fear that certain things are true, like I'm not real, life is an illusion, etc. Concepts that used to make sense to me no longer make any sense to me like morality, emotions, why people do things. I feel as if I know the answer deep down but when I try to analyze these feelings and question them, I can't think of a answer.
Thoughts keep popping up in my head that I am not human, morals are useless and I should disregard them, questioning why I even have feelings in the first place because it is not logical to have them, questioning human behavoir and why we are alive, having no free will, questioning why certain words are used etc etc and it wont stop. These thoughts are constantly roaming through my head and I can't stop them. I try to find a answer to these questions and I can't My brain just gets stuck and goes in a loop. Even when I doing something else to keep my mind busy like playing video games or watching tv they are always inside my head. Because they are always there I can't ignore them.
I'm sorry for making this so long but I need advice from somebody. Do you think this is OCD? And if it is please share with me how you managed to get through it. How can I stop these thoughts? How can I go back to the way I was?

I think we can get OCD over just about anything.

Do you think this is OCD? And if it is please share with me how you managed to get through it. How can I stop these thoughts? How can I go back to the way I was?

Can't make a diagnosis on here, of course, but I can say: This is EXACTLY the kind of existential hell I've been going through for ten months, and two therapists with the authority to diagnose OCD have diagnosed me as such. And I STILL ask myself if I really have OCD.

These questions are recurring because they have no answers, and that's what OCD wants. If they did have answers, you'd answer them, and then the OCD would move on to something else. I've had several OCD themes in my life and "solved" some of them. Went years with no problems. Then something else would come up.

Existential OCD is particularly scary because there's no way you can objectively solve stuff like this. In the end, you have to find an answer YOU can live with, and accept the uncertainty inherent in any existential concept. Take whatever help you can get to reach that place.

Yup. OCD feeds off ambiguity.

I have been feeling similar to a lot of these things for a while now, but I don't obsess over them. The world, reality, whatever is what it is. Questioning it will only drive you nuts and at the end of the day won't get you anywhere. I used to get all introspective about it and what is my purpose, but...ehh...whatever. But that's just me.

But in your case... Is it OCD? I'm no doctor, but the fact that the ideas replay over and over probably is. But it doesn't make you a bad person for having those thoughts. In fact, I personally give you a lot of credit for trying to think outside the box.

Do you have any friends, etc that you can talk about those concepts with instead of a doctor? Maybe that would make it more interesting, or even beneficial for you.

Eggman01 wrote:I have been diagnosed with OCD. My therapist has been unhelpful and while I am on medication I really need someone to talk too. I have unusual OCD thoughts that I don't even know if they are OCD or me slowly losing my mind. I was handling it alright for a while but now it is getting worse. I can't think straight anymore. I don't feel emotions anymore. My mind is active 24/7. My OCD thoughs are so bizarre that nobody else can relate to them and I fear there may be something wrong with me other than OCD. I have numerous obsessions right now. Sometimes I have fear of harming someone which is what a lot of other people go through with OCD. BUt I also have philosophical OCD. I fear that certain things are true, like I'm not real, life is an illusion, etc.

Yes, this is OCD. I have the same issue, although I've just been not thinking about it. Things get rough if I do that and I finally got the hang of not thinking about it. Even though it's weird, it follows the same patterns as other obsessive fears related to OCD. This isn't too relevant, but your text there in bold triggered me. Trying not to think about it.

Eggman01 wrote:Concepts that used to make sense to me no longer make any sense to me like morality, emotions, why people do things. I feel as if I know the answer deep down but when I try to analyze these feelings and question them, I can't think of a answer.

I'm not sure what you mean here, do you just have thoughts along the lines of wondering what those things are and your OCD making you feel like you don't know the answer? It sounds kind of similar to when I started questioning "Did I just do X/Did X just happen?" and deep down I'd know I did just do that, or the object did go into the drawer, but I just couldn't think "Yes" and stop thinking about it. Brain wouldn't let me say Yes. It was still, "I don't know."

Eggman01 wrote:Thoughts keep popping up in my head that I am not human, morals are useless and I should disregard them, questioning why I even have feelings in the first place because it is not logical to have them, questioning human behavoir and why we are alive, having no free will, questioning why certain words are used etc etc and it wont stop. These thoughts are constantly roaming through my head and I can't stop them. I try to find a answer to these questions and I can't My brain just gets stuck and goes in a loop. Even when I doing something else to keep my mind busy like playing video games or watching tv they are always inside my head. Because they are always there I can't ignore them.
I'm sorry for making this so long but I need advice from somebody. Do you think this is OCD? And if it is please share with me how you managed to get through it. How can I stop these thoughts? How can I go back to the way I was?

This would sound like OCD if the thoughts were making you fear that you are not human, wonder if morals are actually useful, fear that you shouldn't emotions. You said you actually question why you have emotions because it's your opinion that it's not logical to have them, though. The part where your positions keep mulling around in your head and you can't stop them could be the "OCD" part of this. If your therapist doesn't have advice on how you can stop the thoughts you should consider switching therapists. Maybe they're just not equipped. I sure wish I knew how to knock out the first one.

-- Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:59 pm --

OCDeer wrote:

Do you think this is OCD? And if it is please share with me how you managed to get through it. How can I stop these thoughts? How can I go back to the way I was?

Can't make a diagnosis on here, of course, but I can say: This is EXACTLY the kind of existential hell I've been going through for ten months, and two therapists with the authority to diagnose OCD have diagnosed me as such. And I STILL ask myself if I really have OCD.

These questions are recurring because they have no answers, and that's what OCD wants. If they did have answers, you'd answer them, and then the OCD would move on to something else. I've had several OCD themes in my life and "solved" some of them. Went years with no problems. Then something else would come up.

Existential OCD is particularly scary because there's no way you can objectively solve stuff like this. In the end, you have to find an answer YOU can live with, and accept the uncertainty inherent in any existential concept. Take whatever help you can get to reach that place.

Objective things with answers can be thrown into your OCD too. Even when I know the answer OCD wouldn't let me accept it. "Am I truly ungrounded?" I know that sounds bizarre and dumb, but I had to ask over and over again or else I wouldn't be able to do anything I was grounded for. This is just one example.

Did you get rid of your existential OCD? How long did it take? Did you use a therapist's help? For me, there is no acceptable answer other than that the fears are #######4. I fear that there's just no help for me and all I can do is not think about it. Which works, most of the time. But then something comes up... like people without OCD who can ponder and say deep stuff along the lines of solipsism without it even bothering them.

Whenever you do the compulsion you strengthen the OCD thought. So it gets so much stronger and longer to cleanup.

OCD is the disease of obsessive doubts. Do your symptoms fit? Do you doubt your therapist? That also could be another doubt raised by your OCD! Why don't you read all my posts in this forum? You might find them helpful.