Please I'm desperate for help

It's 12am and I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm getting hot flashes because I'm panicking and I'm crying in my room alone. It sucks because I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I thought I was doing okay but I'm not. I don't want to elaborate on the details because I don't want to come back to this, read it, then get all upset again. But there's things I've done/consumed in my past that relate to my obsessive thoughts. It's disgusting and horrible. I avoid remembering these things at all costs because as soon as I remember it I freak out and break down. I feel so alone and broken. I'm scared I'm never actually going to get better. Writing all this is just giving me a headache. Please respond with anything: advice, support or dumb jokes.

F-k mental illness amiright?

Just beleive in urself and everything will be aight.

Thanks. It's hard to believe in myself when I feel like I'm a piece of sh-t. I guess I need to look toward the future more. It's difficult to do when I'm feeling this way though, like there's a massive gap between this sh-tty feeling and believing in myself. If I jumped I would fall through the gap. Sounds crazy. What I mean is I might need a stepping stone. What stone, not sure. Something else for the future I need to think about. I really appreciate the reply. Even the smallest comment can make me reflect on some aspect to distract these thoughts.

ashley23 wrote:Thanks. It's hard to believe in myself when I feel like I'm a piece of sh-t. I guess I need to look toward the future more. It's difficult to do when I'm feeling this way though, like there's a massive gap between this sh-tty feeling and believing in myself. If I jumped I would fall through the gap. Sounds crazy. What I mean is I might need a stepping stone. What stone, not sure. Something else for the future I need to think about. I really appreciate the reply. Even the smallest comment can make me reflect on some aspect to distract these thoughts.

I am a piece of shyt and believe in my self. That makes me a piece of shyt that believes in himself. Embrace it man you got to have a bring it on attitude. I hope every day to be worse than the next, and I m always disappointed.

The wisdom I gots is infinite but a piece of $#%^ - I am only one because I want to be one. Only after u desire to feel the worst every day , only after u embrace the $#%^ , will u then be in control of ur destiny
I Dunn give a ###$ who u is, Buddha can lick my enlightened ass