I would appretiate some insight on my issue.

Hello everyone and thank you for you help beforehand

I would like some insights as Currently I am really confused with myself.

1 Month ago I had a panic attack and since that day I am constaly Anxious and I am looking on the internet evey day what I have in an obsessive maner. Until now I thought i am bipolar, I have depreesion , borderline personality disorder, ODC , adrenal fatigue , or any other mental illness you can name. Also
at some days I have images of me suiciding becaue I feel depressed and i think that evenutally I will go mad and do it, so i get really anxious about it. Last few days I also experiance something else. I have a girl that I like and that she likes me but she will be back to my city in 1 month and we decided that we will try and see how the thing will go with us. The thing is that I really liked her for 4 months now, like crazy and suddenly one day I woke up and I started feeling that I might not like her in the end and that when she comes I won't have any feeling to her and that I will reject her. And that is something I really dont like as an idea. Also when I talk to her I feel really anxious and tense even thought I find myself smiling for as long as we talk . I feel like I am going crazy or smthing and that this condition will make me do big mistakes and dissapoint her . Is that OCD ? I try to find all the times that I really like her and that she likes me too, I listen to music that reminds me of her or I read past conversation just to check If I still like her. And epessially that tension I feel when I am thinking about her drivning me crazy.

Dear Enerux:

All the diagnoses you mentioned are about anxiety: excessive, ongoing fear. In between our ears there is a mushy organ of flesh and blood, not a neat book with white pages and orderly diagnoses. So you are experiencing symptoms or manifestations of excessive, ongoing fear. The symptoms themselves scare you and you are scared of ... what else is wrong with you.

Fear, that is all. The most powerful emotion. Started being excessive and ongoing, most likely, when you were a child, not having a safe enough home, or when you lost a safe home.

There are ways to heal from anxiety, insight into the origin and skills to regulate it. Over time you can get good with these skills, the more you practice, over time. And as you do, symptoms weaken and maybe even disappear... slowly, patiently, gently with time used well.

atina