masturbation causing HOCD spikes

I will try to keep this short in the hope that someone will actually read this and respond.

I am 18 and have been fighting HOCD for about five months now. I have made great progress but have ran into another problem.

I recently discovered and started engaging in anal play when I masturbate. I enjoy using toys to enhance my experience but it makes me feel extremely gay. Even worse is the fact that I know find myself aroused by the idea of receiving anal from another man. I feel as if this arousal is just because the sensation of anal may be pleasurable, not because I find males sexually attractive (if that makes sense). The good news is that I am finding myself more aroused by women in real again because I have stopped using porn (I used to masturbate to porn 2-3 times a day).

I am just really disturbed by these new "fantasies" that I seem to be having because I have never, ever had gay fantasies, or thoughts until this happened. I remember multiple instances where I had crushes and sexual fantasies of girls. Being gay had never crossed my mind until HOCD started.

Would abstaining from masturbation help? am I really turning gay at 18? is this a result of years of unhealthy porn use? I would greatly appreciate any help.

I find it hard to believe anyone would turn something they weren't already.

Ofc this doesn't have to be all-or -nothing. I'm Bi.

But then, I knew that from 13.

Well mijo, lots of straight guys like anal simulation.

Your OCD could be using the fact that it feels good to make you think you're gay, you think? Since you've never had a thought before HOCD.

Thank you for your response. It makes sense that my HOCD is causing me to over analyze (pun intended) the fact that I like anal stimulation, especially because I've never had a "gay" fantasy until I discovered this new way to masturbate.

OCD will glom onto the slightest ambiguity, and once a guy gets brave enough to stick something in his back door.... you know the male P-spot feels really good. Sure it's going to make you wonder.

But you didn't start this in your formative years. You haven't established a pattern for having a fascination for having sex with guys. Supposedly male sexual proclivities are locked in by no later than 15, probably earlier. And acc'd to my understanding, it doesn't change. At 13 I was having bisexual thoughts and it's never changed, I'm roughly in the middle of the Kinsey spectrum and that's the end of that.

I would say that the idea of you being turned on by the thought of being penetrated, to just being a matter of following the train of thought to its logical conclusion. Of course it would feel good- if you were into sex with guys. But you're not.

Without being generally interested in penises in general, that's all that is, IMO. And if you DID like guys, you'd have known you were different before now.

Snaga wrote:
Well mijo, lots of straight guys like anal simulation.

I can say that's definitely true and it doesn't mean they're gay. Lots of straight men like to have sex with women in the 'other' way. If enjoying anal stuff is a sign of being gay for men, there would be a lot of gay men out there.