Feeling isolated

Hi,
I have suffered from severe OCD for almost my whole life. I've had times during treatment where it has gotten better, but it just comes back. I've accepted that I just have to live with it. It is my normal. But, I feel so alone because everyone I meet who has OCD has it mildly, or moderately. I am NOT trying to brag, trust me, I would switch my OCD for mild if I could. Basically, everyone I know says they understand, but they just do not. I have multiple kinds of OCD, and right now I am struggling with pure-o the most. I am tired of having my head filled with anxiety and obsessions. I also have a few other disorders that cause a lot of memory issues and loudness in my head along with a lot of panic and paranoia about others. I just wish someone could understand. I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say, I just wish my OCD wasn't on the extreme scale so I could talk about it to others. I am so tired of this, but like I've said, I've just accepted it. Sorry if this was all over the place. I'm not too good at conveying what I feel.
Samantha

Hi Samantha,
I can sympathize since I don't know many people who have told me they have OCD. I went to therapy with a therapist who said she had OCD, but she clearly didn't understand the thoughts I was having. Also, having those other disorders also makes it much worse and much harder to find others who can understand. Despite this, I'm not sure if there isn't at least one of those people who might be able to understand. I don't know your current obsessions, but people on support forums like this are a lot more open about what they're going through than with people in real life. They have anonymity and are already confident that the people who read their posts will be caring and understanding. You also can't really tell how OCD is truly hitting them. I've told people some of the distressing thoughts I've had, but they're often not near as bad as many of my worst obsessions. I've also rarely had people who can tell that something is really bothering me, and I haven't noticed this with other people. Furthermore, even if you do tell some of your fears to people, it doesn't mean that others will tell you theirs. I've had close friends in real life tell me their worst secrets, and as tempting as it was to tell them mine, thinking that it would make both me and them feel better, I still didn't. To this day, I've never told anyone in real life, except for that one therapist that didn't help, what my worst obsessions are. What I have done, however, was tell people some of the ones I've overcome or the ones that aren't as bad but still pretty bad. I'm hoping that I might be able to work my way up to find people who are more open.

I am not sure if this was helpful or not. I feel really bad too because I worry about some horrible things and there seem to be no options. The only thing I can do is take comfort in the fact that there are people out there who do understand and do care. This isn't near as comforting as actually knowing people like this, but it gives me some hope.