Please help get rid of hocd im begging foe help

I've had hocd for 11 years it has ruined my life im 29 and ao many years wasted on it.Im tired of groinal responses not being able to talk or look at another girl normally. I've always wanted a boyfriend and still I have never had one I spend my time thinking of good days when I wouldn't have to worry about this and I looked forward to seeing any cute guys. I miss it so much. I've tried lots of therapists and meds none have worked and I cannoy get a cbt specialist with my insurance. I sometimes get nervous scared feeling when I see a girl and sometimes it really makes me feel I like them. The other day at the dr there was a girl working behind desk who was giving me papers she kept smiling at me and I shly looked down because I can't look anyone in eye because of socialanxiety and hocd and she probably thought I was a lesbian and acted that way because I liked her. I was weirded out by it I still cannot stop worrying about it. I need to get rid of this I need someone to help get rid of it anyone who knows a way tell me im so tired of it

Hey I know it is really hard I am there too. I don't think there is anything that we can do to get rid of it immediately. It takes some time. But I am almost completely sure this is all OCD, so that is good. All of the groinal responses and fake attractions suck! I am sorry about your situation.
Feel better.

If you still need help, read what I wrote here:

obsessive-compulsive/topic176522.html#p1835539