Relationship OCD

Hi everyone.I've been living with OCD since I was about 14 hears old. It has had periods of getting better and getting worse. I felt well for about 3 years with no real symptoms but recently came off my medicine (Effexor) and have suffered the worst symptoms I've ever had. I got myself in with a psychologist and back on meds (Prozac). My obsessions this time seem to focus around my husband and fears that I have done some wrong to him in the past. I am constantly feeling compelled to "confess" possible wrongdoings to him. I gave in to confessing one thing to him this weekend and thought that would make the obsessive thoughts stop but now they have moved onto another "topic".
The main problem with this is all of these things I'm feeling the need to constantly confess happened a few years ago while we were dating but on the verge of a break up. The thing that I am most obsessed about right now is that right before I broke things off with my then boyfriend (now husband) my best friend gave another guy my phone number. I can't remember if I told her it was ok or if maybe I said it was ok out of anger/frustration. However I had no intentions of ever talking to that person. I would never ever cheat on my husband. I love him more than anyone I have ever known. I'm struggling a lot with wondering what memories I have are real and what are the OCD. That guy never texted me and I never would of responded. Can anyone give me some advice or insight into what I should do?

Hello and welcome to PF!

Yes, I have some advice:

Forget about it.

Nothing happened. Nothing.

It's as simple as that. Note that I didn't say as easy as that. It's as simple as that. I can tell you in great detail how nothing happened and you shouldn't worry, but you will. It's OCD.

You have to make that conscious decision that nothing that happened back then is worth confessing, needs to be confessed, or ought to be confessed. And your urge to confess be damned. It's no different than checking a lock, or window, or light switch. At some point, you have to walk away from the obsessive thought. At some point, I have to NOT turn the car around to check the house 'one more time'. Or to make sure I didn't accidentally run over someone. ###$ it. (rhymes with 'duck') At some point, you have to utter those two words, and to hell with those terrible things you did, or more likely, didn't, do. Simple as that. Not easy. Just simple. They do get easier with practice, though.

Thank you for your honest advice. I know these things are the OCD it's just such a crappy illness. It has taken ahold of my mind and I feel like I'm in a prison. Doesn't matter how many times people tell me whatever I'm obsessing o er isn't important or was nothing- I'll still obsess. I just pray there's light at the end of this tunnel. That if I just start saying #! $! it, that eventually these thoughts will stop and I can have my life back. I know I've gotten better before but I never remember it being this bad.

Dear livingwithocd16:

I wonder if this approach may be helpful: from my long, long... long history with OCD, I know it is motivated by fear. It started for me when i became very afraid. As i read your post, I am wondering: isn't your confessing to your husband urge connected to the fear of losing him?

If so, instead of confessing, maybe it will help to tell him how scared you are of losing him, or the relationship to end...

Let him comfort you, calm your fear.

Please do post again:

atina