Hello.
I am feeling guilty right now. I have a younger half-brother. I remember that once my stepmother asked me to bathe him. I had POCD even back then and I thought that bathing him would prove me that I am no pedophile and saw it as a kind of exposure thing. I asked my stepmother whether I should use a washcloth or my bare hands and she told me just to use my bare hands so I put the soap on his body with my bare hands including his private parts. Then I washed the soap away and put soap on his body again in the same way, then washed it away. Now I am feeling like this was wrong, I think I should have used a washcloth or asked my brother to put soap on his private parts himself. I feel like I had bad intentions. I didn't do it to arouse me and wasn't aroused by it at all but it feels wrong like I used my brother for testing or proving something.
What do you think?