First appointment at psychotherapist (POCD)

It's not distressing to talk about it, and I appreciate you asking. However I do suspect that I am in fact asking for reassurance and hence performing a compulsion...

Anyway I doubt I have OCD because it seems mild in comparison to what a lot of people experience, and the themes are often things I don't seem to find anyone else has.

I worry that I've misled the doctor and the therapist. Or that if I had longer I'd have told her something that would make her realise I don't have it and that I've made it all up or something.

Dear kah80:

I have lots of experience doubting, doubting a lot, basic things, very basic things, often not knowing what was going on and who I was and who the people close to me were.. taking me a lot of time to figure these things out and presently I am doubting way less, way, way less. Once in a while, even yesterday I doubted something but instead of obsessing about whether it was real or not, true or not, i reminded myself that i already figured it out and repeated to myself what it was I figured out. Then I felt more confident about what is true.

It reminds me the movie A beautiful Mind, the main character was psychotic and couldn't tell if what he saw was a hallucination or reality. He finally figured out that over the decades of his life, as he was seeing the same people throughout the years, some of the people he was seeing never aged. Those who aged, he figured were real, those who did not, like a girl who always was a young girl throughout twenty or thirty years ... she must have been not real.

There are ways of figuring it out. What is true and what is not. Only you have to be calm when you are trying to figure this out. When afraid or distressed we just can think well...

atina

Thanks for this- following it through I can think:

I gave a long list of symptoms to the doctor and psychiatrist and both diagnosed me with OCD. So even if I forgot something, it's unlikely to have a dramatic effect on my diagnosis. Both should be used to recognising OCD and it's unlikely both would be wrong.

Sometimes, I can see this and think 'yes,I have OCD'. But other times I just doubt it all.

Dear \kah80:

I agree with your thinking, fellow OCD sufferer. I hope we can help each other feel better over time.
Post again, anytime.
atina