HOCD IS HELL

Ok so I am sorry if I am posting too much but I have had it with this #######4. I can't handle it anymore. I have had the worst week of my life and I want to die I really do. I feel like $#%^ (sorry for the language, I'm just really angry and frustrated). I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm really scared I don't have OCD which is my main problem now eventhough I had second guesses about it in the past. What if I don't have it? I just got a boyfriend a week ago and I love him to death but everything is telling me that I don't and I'm lying to myself. And I almost had a panic attack because he is thinking about moving and I would die if he did (sorry I just need to rant). I have lost everything now and I don't know how to get through. Everything feels real, the ######6 groinal response, stupid false attractions. I litterally want to die.
So my question is:
Can HOCD make you turn gay/bi even if you have never had a crush or had any physical attraction/ fantasies about the same sex?
Thanks so much!

You gave me good advice a little while ago so ill do my best to return the favor. i've fortunatley had a really good day when it comes to the OCD, and ive had a few moments of clarity even though the doubt is always there. But thats the thing, the doubt is always going to be there while you're afflicted. I've read in more than one place that one of the most common symptoms of this type of OCD(HOCD,POCD,TOCD etc) is doubting that you actually have OCD. It's been nicknamed the doubting disease for a reason. And to answer your other question, no, its not possible, even though it may seem like it. In a lot of cases people lose attraction to their preferred orientation and even gain attraction to the same sex. This is just OCD manifesting your fears, after you legitimized them in the past(Seeking reassurance, testing, ruminating). If you liked the opposite sex before this, even if it seems like you don't anymore, when its all over your natural tastes will return. You wont come out of HOCD being the opposite orientation that you were going into it. Keep your head up, and youll feel better soon

P.S. I'm no expert, and i wont pretend to be so if ive made any mistakes that pop out when it comes to my knowledge, i encourage others to correct me.