OCD Intrusive Thoughts

Hello, I am new here and am searching for some advice. I have been suffering from cheating OCD for over a year now. Currently i have this new obsession that from this past saturday i cheated on my boyfriend, him, myself and his friend were hanging out drinking, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. I know i went upstairs but cant remember if i went directly upstairs with him or stayed downstairs talking to his friend.

So now because i cant remember clearly i am thinking what if i cheated and i dont remember or what if i said something compeletly out of line. Id ask the friend but thats embarrassing, he stopped over the next day because he wanted us to meet his girlfriend. Obviously he wouldnt come over the next day with his girlfriend If i did something with him but then my OCD tells me, well he could have to see if you said anything about hooking up with him to your boyfriend...

Then i start thinking what if i said i cheated on my boyfriend to this friend. I can recall anything of that sorts but it wont stop. I was told if your sentence starts with What If imeediatly label it OCD, i keep trying but then i find myself worrying that i did something and he's going to find out and he will ask me and i wont know for sure whether i did or not. I also, went to AA for the first time last night because this happens all the time to me after drinking and my boyfriend is not with me. I want to get the help to stop.

Well, first off, I'm sorry for your anguish over this. And secondly, it's good that you are getting some help with your drinking. In order to say you have OCD is to see a therapist and explain it to them. They aren't going to judge you or think you are a weirdo or a bad person. When you have to treat a disorder, you have to diagnose it first. The first step is always the hardest, but it's the most rewarding, knowing the truth.

Thanks Hexrune, its weird how it all came about a year ago i started getting these thoughts since i started medication for my anxiety, before that never had a thought like this that happens on more than once occasion, everytime with a different scenario. Its like i cant remember a piece of my night and my mind immediatly goes there and i completely panic, then it will last a week ill be ok until i drink again and black out again. i think the best approach is i need to stop drinking so i can clear my mind first off and then see how and if things change.

Drinking till you black out (especially regularly) is probably not good for anyone regardless of anxiety and OCD.

Hey jdd, no it's not and it never used to happen to me until i got on medication for my anxiety but i feel i am making the right moves now by going to AA and getting focused. The day after drinking obviously makes the anxiety worse and its bad enough without the addition from alcohol. I am just hoping that once i stay sober it will be easier to navigate whats causing me to panic like this or is it solely related to anxiety the next day from drinking.