Gender dysphoria or bad obsessive thinking?

Lately I've been feeling strong physical dysphoria around my male parts. This started last year when I was 20 when I thought that the reason I wasn't inspired to write was because I was really a woman who needed to transition. This caused an unstoppable obsessive pattern of fixating on my gender identity and genitals. This started after I read several forums of transpeople who began hating their bodies. For me, it almost feels like physical discomfort only it's all psychological. Sometimes it's so intense I have suciidal thoughts. Now, When I have these episodes, I feel very anxious and depressed and I cannot enjoy anything. I'm almost 21 now and I never felt this before last year. I have aspergers FYI and I've told 5 doctors about this and they all seem to think its obsessive thinking.

What's funny is that when my attention shifts to another worry, the discomfort completely goes away and I don't fee it at all.

Also, I have tried experimenting with girl type clothes and makeup but overall they don't seem to help my mood much. Please help.

I agree with the Drs.

Especially considering when you switch anxieties, it seems to dissipate. The ocd brain has to worry about something and whatever works will do, IMO.

The fact you seem to evince no fascination, drive, or pleasure from the thought is very ocd-like. I'm a little gender balanced and when I took online tests to check myself I was actually disappointed, a little, that I was not very transgendered. When there is something going on, like repressed homosexuality, or transgenderism, there's no fear of the thing itself, just the ramifications. Family, religion, etc. Seems as if a near universal sign something is an obsessive thought is the near unanimous dread of the thing itself.

Ditto the dress and makeup doing nothing for you. Although, avatar notwithstanding, I don't crossdress these days, I once enjoyed doing a little of that. One Trans test to see if I was trans labeled me a fetishistic transvestite. If it doesn't improve the mood or bring pleasure or make you feel 'right', again, seems very -ocd to me.

One thing people with H/TOCD have a hard time with, is understanding the difference between not wanting to be gay or trans, because it is horrible, and not wanting to be only because you fear what will happen to you. I'm bi, and don't want to be but the thing itself doesn't fill me with dread. If it were HOCD it would dreadful in and of itself. Not just that it's against my religion, or what will everyone say? Which is why I don't like being bi. But ocd fears want to create as much horror as possible, they feed on fear.

I get harm-ocd, the irrational thought I will kill loved ones. I've learned to live with those thoughts. I had to. They still come, but they dont usually bother me because I know it's just silly ocd. I say silly because it is. If it wasn't silly I'd live in fear of killing someone. It HAS to be silly OCD. That's how I put it in its place.

Longer winded than I meant to be.... Anyway those are my thoughts....

Can you explain the whole "not inspired to write" thing?
Because it sounds like as if you are obsessing based on the assumption and commonly called a maladaptive interpretation that it's "feminine" to be a writer, or that you get intrusive thoughts of being the opposite gender or flashes of someone you know of the opposite sex (relating as a writer) and fearing it means something , when in reality human beings relate to human beings.. doesn't matter what's inbetween their legs.

But this is just all theory, as you really haven't said much about this writing thing haha.

djslanty wrote:Can you explain the whole "not inspired to write" thing?
Because it sounds like as if you are obsessing based on the assumption and commonly called a maladaptive interpretation that it's "feminine" to be a writer, or that you get intrusive thoughts of being the opposite gender or flashes of someone you know of the opposite sex (relating as a writer) and fearing it means something , when in reality human beings relate to human beings.. doesn't matter what's inbetween their legs.

But this is just all theory, as you really haven't said much about this writing thing haha.

It has nothing to do with it being a feminine or masculine activity. I felt that because of how I wasn't fully being myself, I wasn't inspired to write.

Well either way, that's a very illogical assumption based on nothing though right.
No other time in history were men and women pressured to "be themselves" and "find themselves" , because in all essence of things, people were too busy building lives and families , and creating civilizations to think about "who they are" or if they are being "true to themselves".
People nowadays have too much of an idle mind. Counting up their failures or lack of action , and thinking it must be due to them not being themselves , and that a route within escapism seems promising because your old self failed to amount to anything, and maybe its in these cases that you see your fellow man going of to college , and building a family that you feel less of one.

I know I've had these maladaptive interpretations run through my mind at times, but that's all it really is.

TRIGGER WARNING



















I've experienced similar feelings in my genital area and am really confused by all this. I don't want to spike anyone so won't say more but I can completely relate to you OP

FreshGuy wrote:TRIGGER WARNING



















I've experienced similar feelings in my genital area and am really confused by all this. I don't want to spike anyone so won't say more but I can completely relate to you OP

didn't trigger anything for me. Anyway, yeah. It sucks feeling the discomfort. I feel like I kinda lost my identity because of it. I'm always hoping it will go away. I am planning on seeing a gender therapist at some point in the future. Maybe they can help.

Did it feel like a psychological discomfort for you?

But... if its OCD why go to a gender therapist especially if they refer you back to someone who deals with OCD right away >.<

jdd wrote:But... if its OCD why go to a gender therapist especially if they refer you back to someone who deals with OCD right away >.<

idk often ill picture myself as a female character or something like that. That's what lead me to believe I might be trans. But ill also picture myself as a male character sometimes too.

What do you mean picture yourself as a female character?