POCD? Or worse? Help please.... *might trigger?*

so hey sorry if this is so long

i'm a 17 year old girl from germany, diagnosed with ocd since age 5. i had more compulsions than obsessions at that time but it seems to be the contrary now.
my latest obsession is the fear that i might be a pedophile.
i say fear, because i've never had any sexual thoughts about real life children at all before this obsession set in, and i don't recognize myself in anything that a pedophile thinks or feels.
i don't want to have any sort of intimate relationship with a child, sexual or romantic, and i understand the immense pain it must bring to the unfortunate kid. i can't really empathize with it, since my empathy is kind of low.... but i definitely don't like seeing children as potential sexual beings and never want to.
so the reason why i'm writing this, it that lately my ocd seems to be focusing on some small things to prove that i am indeed a pedo.
and i could really use some reassurance right now...
these are the things i'm obsessing over:

- i fear that my being disgusted at the thoughts is just an act. i actually like them and i'm just in deep denial because i fear being a pedophile

- (slightly explicit)
when i was younger i never really had a coscience of what was good and bad and why. i used to like fictional (AND only fictional!) material regarding incest, hebephilia, fetishes like "innocence" and so on... and i never really questioned it because i didn't know why they were bad.
especially i remember a certain comic about a mother doing stuff with her very explicitely underage child and that disgusts me now even just thinking about it
but at the time i didn't know it was bad. i thought that if it was there, it must be because some other people liked it so it was normal.
and now i feel like that somehow warped my mind and now i'm stuck with being attracted to that kind of stuff, even if i want to make clear that all of this actually disgusts me now!! i've grown and i changed that awful mentality

- i fear that since i liked those things back then, i surely must like them now too. and i especially fear that if i wanted to, deep down, i COULD make myself like those things, even if i don't want to and they disgust me now!

i hope this is just pocd and that i'm not a sexual deviant or anything of the sort...... i know i'm not a pedo, i don't find children attractive, just thinking about them in a sexual environment disgusts me and i'm actually really baffled and confused trying to imagine those situations, like.... why? how would that happen?

i'm so scared of these thoughts and even the fact that i could think them and maybe like them in my head makes feel bad... so should i be concerned or is this just pocd and i can ignore it?

You are not pedophile.That is just youre thoughts.You are just have opssesive thoughts who want to belive that you are.
From youre post i can say that you 100% are not pedophile.Just try to relax and ignore thoughts of it even if it is hard.It would be good that seek help.
Our brain can made strange things and make us to belive that we are something we are not.Brain is very complex.Every men on Earth are think of something sick but the problem is when this thoughts get opssesive than you must go for seek help.I hope that you will rid of things that you are pedophile.