Well... sh!t

I just went to the doctor today to get some new medication prescribed to me to help with my treatment against OCD. I told her my whole story, from beginning to end, with all of the detailed events that happened.

Do you know what my doctor said? She said I might be suffering from complex partial seizures that causes the psychosis and possibly even the OCD and that she'll refer me to a neurologist for an EEG, CAT/CT scan, MRI scan, sleep study, etc.

I don't know how to feel about that. I should feel excited that I am on my way to getting help and recovering.

But I have known myself to be this way for so long... if I am having complex partial seizures, and they treat me for that... how will I change? How have I changed? Will I ever know myself?

Woah...that is crazy interesting to find out. I am by no means a doctor but I guess anything is possible?

I don't think you will lose yourself...if anything, you will feel like you can breathe again (if that makes sense). I say keep pushing forward and let life work out the kinks for you. Good luck and keep us posted on this!

Yeah. Absolutely.

Like I said, it's not a definite answer to the problem, but it's a very likely answer. I have to go in and get the tests, but I looked online a little bit and apparently complex partial seizures can be misdiagnosed as atypical psychosis. I was diagnosed with atypical psychosis a year ago, and the medication they put me on did not do anything to help. I was put on Olanzapine which is an atypical antipsychotic for such diagnoses.

Oh well... I guess I have yet to find out, don't I? Just gotta get the tests done and hope everything is well.

I'm worried about losing myself though because lately the anxiety and the obsessions are no present. Instead, I have a creative and wild imagination that comes up with amazing thoughts. IF I am having seizures and I am treated for those seizures, will the creative intellect I know and love be gone?