OCD madness over scary movie I watched years ago

Hey... the last few days have been a nightmare, no end in sight!

I made the stupid mistake of watching this f'd up movie with a few friends when we were drunk a few years ago, sort of "dare" type of thing. Anyway incase you haven't heard of this movie, please don't even look it up... the movie was "salo" or "120 days of sodom"... most horrible thing I've ever watched.

At the time I didn't even know about my OCD or maybe it just wasn't that bad, but lately though its gotten a bit worse due to unrelated things. Anyway, I was lying in bed, tuesday about 2am, I have some occasional trouble sleeping... going through the normal stuff, random thoughts, memories, staring at the ceiling...BAM! out of nowhere, I remember I watched the film, slowly very detailed memories about the scenes start flooding my mind, the dialogue etc- even though I was hammered at the time I watched the film I remember parts of it with pretty painful detail. Anyways, those who know of the film understand just how depraved the movie is, I wouldn't watch it again for a million bucks!! It is constantly on my mind, scenes of the movie are on a loop, I feel nauseated, anxious, feeling like i'm loosing it, I can barely eat, i started smoking again after quitting (for the third time) four days prior to tuesday (maybe related?)

Now different disturbing thoughts branch off from the movie, existential stuff, how messed up humans are, religious thoughts, will I go to hell for watching this movie? Feels like it has stained me with it's inconceivable filth... pretty much basic OCD and the most terrifying thought about turning into an abominable monster such as those depicted in the movie.

Do I just wait this out? What can I do? I mean I understand it was just a movie with actors but I just can't shake this. If anyone has gone through similiar stuff following the viewing of a messed up film please share. Any advice or words of wisdom related to OCD would be very comforting...

Thanks in advance!

Just like you said...its basic OCD. This means the thoughts are just that, thoughts. I dont have OCD, but i know the more you fight the thoughts the more they stay. Just an idea, maybe try to accept the worse case scenario and know that no matter what happens you will be ok. Sorry if its not helpful.

I understand this. I read and saw a lot of twisted cr#p on the internet a few years ago when I first got my own laptop with internet, and a few months ago it all came flooding back. I'm going through similar things - feeling nauseated and contaminated, fear of being or turning into a monster. I just want all of this out of my head. If I could erase my memory I would jump at the chance. I don't know how to get past this, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone. If anyone has any advice at all, I will appreciate it so much.

I thought it was funny.