Is it HOCD if...

I'll keep this short. Iv'e had OCD since I was at least 13 and that's around the time I started to question my sexual orientation. I'm 18 next week and I still haven't figured it out. Sometimes I will have to repeat an action because a thought of being gay pops into my head but that could just be because I'm obsessing and I'm used to repeating actions, if you get me?

Basically, I want to know if I WANT to fool around with a girl (I'm a girl too) and I think I would enjoy it, does that mean that it's not HOCD?
Also, I like the look of guys' clothes and I don't know if I am attracted to a guy because I'm attracted to the clothes if you get me? Urg please help me.

Thank you

It seems like you have two things going on. One, is the OCD. You were diagnosed (so there must have been something else going on). You are also repeating an action (for whatever reason). That seems like compulsion.

The other thing is your evolving sexual tastes and your sexual identity. WANTING to fool around with the same sex doesn't prove or disprove anything. The same thing with liking mens clothing and confusing it with liking men.

I think the above are two different issues. Since you have OCD it can complicate the second issue.

But it seems to me you are just at the start of your journey, and no perfect conclusions can (or should) be made.

But, as I said, OCD can complicate things. If you have a therapist, keep them up to date on your thoughts and how you feel.

Mostly, I hope that your thoughts don't blackmail you from what could be a very joyful adventure of self discovery, however it goes.

Otter.

So, should I just experiment? I guess I'm just scared because I don't want it to be the OCD. I want it to be my feelings if you understand? I want to mess around with girls but I don't want it to be the OCD confusing me and making me feel this way. I don't want to be seen as fake.

Do you think it's my OCD making me feel this way? (Wanting to fool around with girls). There is no fear attached to this. I'm not scared of being gay but like you said I have compulsions. It's kind of like "If you don't do this then you will be gay" and I try to ignore it because you can't turn gay but if I'm gay I want to be gay because I'M gay not because my OCD made me gay,if you get me? I just want to know what I am.

Thanks .

That's a pretty common theme in OCD too, believe it or not. There are proclaimed homosexuals/bisexuals obsessing over the possibility of being straight.

You mentioned you don't fear being gay/bisexual but fear being fake or something you aren't. I would classify this as a sexual obsession, whatever theme floats around your mind. But I'm not a psychologist so I can't diagnose you over a forum, but this is my opinion.

About experimenting, If you were suffering from HOCD I would advice against experimentation because it fuels the HOCD and makes it worse. But you seem to be open about it, having no fear about actually being gay, which is different from the usual HOCD-sufferer. If you truly have sensations and feel curious about the same sex, you should definitely check it out. It doesn't even have to be something you pursue later in your life, or it could be an amazing experience.

However, I would advice you to find a therapist and speak about this before you do anything. Asses if this is part of your OCD or something else.

kayb14 wrote:So, should I just experiment? I guess I'm just scared because I don't want it to be the OCD. I want it to be my feelings if you understand? I want to mess around with girls but I don't want it to be the OCD confusing me and making me feel this way. I don't want to be seen as fake.

Your OCD isn't going to make it fake, if you really want to do it. Anxiety can cause it to feel awkward, but not fake. You wouldn't be doing it if you didn't want to.

kayb14 wrote:Do you think it's my OCD making me feel this way? (Wanting to fool around with girls). There is no fear attached to this. I'm not scared of being gay but like you said I have compulsions. It's kind of like "If you don't do this then you will be gay" and I try to ignore it because you can't turn gay but if I'm gay I want to be gay because I'M gay not because my OCD made me gay,if you get me? I just want to know what I am.

No, anxiety can't force you to want to fool around with the same sex. It can force you to fear wanting to fool around, but that is HOCD and i don't think HOCD is your problem.

As I mentioned in the first response, because you suffer OCD it can get in the way of your exploration, which is sad.

Wanting to know what you are takes time. You explore. I had a female friend who fooled around with women for a while and found it wasn't for her. She didn't regret it, she just knew she knew heterosexual. I had another female friend who kissed a boy, and said, "that's enough of that", and now she is married to her wonderful female spouse.

And isn't just about sex. It's about learning how to be in a relationships. It doesn't matter if you're hetero, homo or bi sexual.

But your compulsions are getting in the way of your journey. Maybe see a therapist. Don't let it get go on too long. You'll miss all the fun.

Otter.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm having a birthday party on Saturday and It's UK so I will be getting pretty drunk and I have girls and guys coming to the party who wouldn't mind experimenting and I'm a pretty shy person when it comes to messing around so being drunk will be fun. I'm just going to try and have fun

I may also get a therapist soon because I deserve to have this OCD go away no matter how mild it is.
Also my OCD is self-diagnosed but I see no problem with that. I actually have 2 friends who have/have had OCD and it's easy to tell the similarities but I felt like I was lying and I feel guilty if I feel I am not telling whole truths haha.

Sounds like you have OCD , and a healthy curiosity of sex.
The OCD itself seems to have very little relation to your possible desire to be with a woman... just something that perhaps your OCD has latched onto. You don't fear the thoughts, and actually want to be with the same sex ... so I don't think you suffer HOCD, but just a form of ritualistic OCD with physical compulsions that are applied to thoughts and words that are benign based on what you describe.
On the other hand .. I can't diagnose you , I'm not a professional.. just my own opinion.
Good luck in finding suitable help.. I'd suggest dealing with the OCD first before experimenting , as it may pose a complication in the future and result in an HOCD theme from potential confusion that might happen. As many Bi , gay, straight, men and women can develop doubts and obsessions about their sexual orientation when struck with OCD . So get the OCD under-wraps first.

So I fooled around with some girls and now I'm more confused haha. I like kissing girls but can OCD make me think I liked it? Can it trick me into thinking that I want to do it again? Because I wouldn't mind it to be honest. I think I'm just ruminating but if I liked kissing the girls (even though I was wasted)then my OCD can't make me feel that way right?

*mod edit - topics get merged*

I will keep this short. I'm an 18 year old girl and I posted a similar question and it was basically concluded that my OCD has just latched onto the BI-Curiousness I have because I have compulsions but I don't fear being gay.

Basically yesterday I had a party and I was drunk and I made out with girls and I liked it. I almost ended up giving oral to this girl but I stopped myself and thinking back to it it makes me feel sick(not the kissing). But I don't mind the idea of being the submissive. I've never sucked a penis so I don't know if that would make me feel the same way but whenever I kiss guys sober for the most part I want to throw up in their mouths. But for real I know being bi isn't all sexual. Dating a girl seems less uncomfortable than dating a boy but I don't know if that's because I'm a girl myself. I am attracted to guys and have been forever but iv'e been questioning since I was like 14. I just don't know if I am straight or Bi.

Can my OCD have just made me think I liked the kisses with the girls?
Can my OCD have made me kiss the same sex for a checking thing? I kissed one of my friends who doesn't have OCD and she told me that she is still confused and then we kissed so everyone does it to check, right? It's just Iv'e heard that people come out and stuff and then realise that it was their OCD.
I really don't fear being gay but I still get compulsions. My lesbian friend was basically saying I was bi last night and another friend was telling me I'm not gay and I'm just really confused. Please help