Very strange Anxiety provoking thoughts

Lol i kind of forgot about this site, but anyway, as of recently, ive been noticing that paradoxical thinking actually really helps to a certain extent with obsessive thoughts/beliefs, and in doing so it allows you to break away if even for only a little bit, and lets you expand your mind to different possibilities, i felt my world open up a little more. My most recent obsessions involve guilty type of thinking, like i am always responsible for someone elses hurt/loss. The most recent would be my former boss again, since he texted me a couple days ago asking if i could work on thursday for a few hours, and i replied a bit late saying that i couldnt work regardless due to school schedules. Even though it was a lie, since i didnt have school on that day, I just used that as an excuse instead to not be to blunt. Anyway he said thanks anyway and i replied with no prob. So shouldnt be any problem right? Well of course thats when my Obsessive thinking saw an opening and took a surprise on me by trying to make me feel guilt and telling me to text him back saying "Hey sorry but i lied to you, I could have worked I just didnt want to" Now normally these thoughts would scare the crap out of me and cause me a ton of anxiety, but at this point its just mentally annoying trying to get rid of the damn thing, the feelings have gone down and become very minimal, however the thoughts are still pretty persistent and just so painfully damn annoying. I dont wanna fulfill the obsession because not only will that feed it, but will make me end up looking like a damn fool. Any tips on how to try and breakaway and shake this type of thinking off? Thanks.

Wow this is insane I am suffering from the exact same thing out of no where my brain tells me I have to apologize for every thing I feel I have done wrong it's like I have a search mode in my brain that goes through my memories and tries to get me to apologize for insane things like if I have a conversation about my boss with my friend I will feel like I have to apologize for possibly starting a rumor that he's gay because my friend may tell someone who will tell someone and it will all be my fault all day the voice runs usually with 3 missions I'll have to go on I went to a therapist too and she tells not to do them but some of them feel so wrong and it's driving me ###$ nuts I too feel like every time I go on a date like I just should say the apology to have some peace of mind this has been driving me insane for like 2 months so far and before that my brain was bugging out over whether or not I'm gay these themes come out of no where and I actually quit my job because some of the apologies were way too ######6 insane I have just started going to oca meetings which honestly seems like the way out because I can go to them every day and keep myself focused on not doing the compulsions... Email me I feel like we can learn a lot from what each other is going through its so weird how we are both going throug such a similar yet strange thing lol. It's so weird I cheated my way through school and was defiantly not a good kid growing up now out of no where I am guilty about every thing in the world wtf lol

lol dude omg whats your email?

hi, just a gentle reminder... please be careful of sharing your personal information (real name,email,etc) in public forum ( against forum rules ) or PMs - just be careful. thanks guys..

so yesterday i said something as a joke to my former manager at his workplace, and now i feel like i need to go apologize, im really sick and tired of this idiotic obsessive nonsense, and this "guilt" that my mind almost tries to force me to feel, idk if religion has to do with it or what, but i am sick and tired of it, idk im just lowkey psycho or what, everyone tells me im really smart, especially in school. im just tired of this nonsensical type of thinking, it always tries to make me do something stupid and end up looking like a fool, i tell myself not to do it, and then it eats away at me for days an days, im ######6 sick of it, i feel like its some sick type of demon trying to mess with my head or something and i want it to die right now. I dont wanna face this anymore -_-

So ive noticed my mind searches through old memories for people that ever pissed me off or tried to make me feel bad/inferior whatever, and a couple days ago remembered some guy from an old 11th grade history class from high school who always tried to make me look bad in front of this girl, i guess he liked her but not sure, anyway, idk why but i gave into cussing him out on facebook, then apologized, then he made me mad again so i said more rude things, then ended up blocking him then unblocking him and apologized again cuz i felt bad about making an enemy, he ended up saying i dont really remember you anyway, and then he said you are of no importance to me, so i just told alright later, and told him to block me so i would stop messaging him, since it only feeds the obsession, anyway, my friend told me to just let it go, then i started having anxiety, and some obsessive thought about my pride, and that i needed to go back and cuss him out on a different facebook account so i could put it "to rest". Right now I am doing my best to let it go, and im telling myself who cares just let it go its so stupid -_-. Anyway I get dumb thoughts asking me things like, "So do you think hes a good guy or bad guy" seems like theres no way to truly answer these thoughts other than saying who cares, to just get rid of it. Can anyone please give me some insight, i dont wanna do more stupid things and then end up regretting it or whatever, please need some help to just finish this crap and break the cycle once and for all. I have a life to live, and I dont want OCD or whatever this garbage is to be a part of it. Thank you