pocd or hebephile?

I've been dealing with POCD a while now, and I still get scared of being attracted to kids, I'm pretty sure I'm not. Now I'm scared of being attracted to 12-13 year olds, I'm 17 and can think of times I felt attracted to, or questioned being attracted to that age, around the age of 15. I know that I prefer girls my age, but I feel I still have an attraction to younger. I have no intentions to be with one, an dont want to, before pocd I remember totally ignoring them because they seemed immature, but now my ocd makes me check for attraction and i obsess trying to convince myself I'm not, or try to see things attractive about them, but I still can find them slightly attractive, but I defiantly prefer girls 15-17 and up. Is this normal? I remember my friend saying that sometimes 12 year olds can look developed, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Reassurance will not help you. Trust me.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, I have POCD too so I know how awful it can be. I've made great .

I could try to reassure you but I promise that won't help for more than a little while. The things that helped me were
1. Know you have control of yourself. Even if you are attracted to children of preteens( which i'm not saying i think you are) what would the huge deal be? It doesn't mean you're going to hurt them or suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to do things. You make your own choices, and judging by the amount of anxiety this is giving you, you would make the choice to be with an adult.

2. Know OCD is feuled off of your anxiety. You can't reason with it. The only way to get rid of it is to stop worrying about it. Easier said than done, but next time you have a scary OCD thought just accept the fact that you don't know, and you can't know. Accept uncertainty.

Good luck!

Perhaps you are misunderstanding what a hebephile is. A hebephile is not anyone attracted to pubescent girls. It's someone with a preference for pubescent girls. If you think most men aren't capable of attraction to 12 year old girls than you're naive, like most people.

Pubescent girls are intended by nature to appeal to males of all ages, to signal that they are approaching a healthy breeding age. Of course that doesn't make it morally right to have sex with them, but right or wrong a healthy heterosexual male is most likely going to be aroused seeing an attractive 12 year old scantily clad or acting seductively.

Thanks for the replies, I've been very sscatter brained lately, I check non stop, I saw a picture of a 12 year old girl and looked at it for a long time trying to see if I was attracted or not, I also do checking to see which I prefer, young girls or girls my age, sometimes I think I like my own age better, sometimes I think I like young better, can't tell sometimes if it's overthinking making me think irrationally. In a quick instance I'll see a picture of a young girl, and i get a reaction and fear, and try to think if I thought she was attractive, or if my mind singled the picture out because it brought attention to my pocd, and the instance is so quick I can't figure out what I felt, causing me to obsess and check.

Also I should mention that my attraction to this 12 year old at the time when I was 15, I didn't think about her being a kid, I was relating her more to my age, I also think she looks kinda older then 12, but I can't tell, I remember her having thick legs, but a flat chest, I've seen this person now who is 16 in real life, and i think she's better looking now then before. Do people just have smaller attraction to 12 year olds and don't think about it, because their preference is older? That's the only thing I can come up with, because even if i do have an attraction to them, I prefer people my age better. But it still bothers me to have any attraction to 12 year olds at all

-- Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:05 am --

Also I should mention that my attraction to this 12 year old at the time when I was 15, I didn't think about her being a kid, I was relating her more to my age, I also think she looks kinda older then 12, but I can't tell, I remember her having thick legs, but a flat chest, I've seen this person now who is 16 in real life, and i think she's better looking now then before. Do people just have smaller attraction to 12 year olds and don't think about it, because their preference is older? That's the only thing I can come up with, because even if i do have an attraction to them, I prefer people my age better. But it still bothers me to have any attraction to 12 year olds at all

One important consideration is that hebephile and ephebephile are not real terms in psychology. They were created by society to label people.

Some people lobbied to make attraction to adolescents a mental disorder in the DSM, but it has been rejected continuously, because if you are attracted to 12-13 year olds, they are still biologically sexual human beings.

Also, being 17, this really is not anything to worry about. When I was 18-20, I was attracted to a lot of 13-14 year olds, but I was also developmentally delayed and immature. Do you have any symptoms of a pervasive developmental disorder? Do you feel more comfortable around people a little younger than your peers? It's quite common to find younger people attractive if you are. When I was 17-18, I was just developing into the maturing and mindset of an 11-12 year old boy, so I really just started to notice and look at other boys around then (I'm gay).

You also have to remember that with girls puberty works a bit differently. Some girls are starting puberty around 11 years old now and can develop good sized breasts and figure by 12-13. Many of them are also looking for ways to make themselves more noticed and attractive.

It's all just very confusing and distressing, sometimes I think that maybe everyone could have these attractions, but not pay much attention to it, like I probably did. Now when I see young girls in public, I over analyze and check to see if I'm attracted, but before if i noticed them looking young, like even 13 year olds,I would totally ignore, because I knew they were young and immature, yet I sometimes felt attracted to 12 year olds in movies, maybe without knowing the age. I Also never thought of them as young, like I would try to emphasize on their features that were developed looking, even if they did look kind of young, and this was me at 15, but maybe these memories of this carried over to me at 16, then I got pocd and checked all of my old thinking, and then I realized that these were bad, at least in my own head, and realized how young they really look, and it bugs me that I thought this way, because now really looking at it, they aren't as developed as someone who is closerto my age

Also I should mention that I could be on the internet, and the face of the young girl can come up, and I might think she is good looking, but can't tell if it's attraction, and I'll think I'm attracted, and look at the picture forever trying to figure out if I am or not, and sometimes I'll come to the conclusion that they are just good looking and will look good when older, and I'm not attracted, but sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I think that if it was before the pocd I would just think they were a good looking kid that would look hot when older, and not worry about it, but I can't tell sometimes and think because they are good looking, this means I'm attracted, is this just a symptom of the ocd? I also have past ocd experiences if that helps conclude I have ocd.

I often look at a little boy and find him cute. I admire his childhood handsomeness sometimes, but I don't care for the idea of having sex with him. Women all the time look at little kids and babies and talk about how cute and precious they are. The difference is that this is normal in society for women to do, and they never give it a second though. You probably won't be around your 17 year old guy friends talking about how cute little babies are the way girls your age do. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way about younger girls that you find them admirable and cute. Good looking isn't the same as hot and sexy.


I think what you might be referring to is maybe that you're worried that you don't feel you want it, but the idea doesn't completely disgust you. That's the same issue with me and little boys. It's because you've played it out in your head so many times that the idea is something you're all too familiar with and isn't anything you are gonna find gross or make you sick. It doesn't mean you're attracted to them.

As far as having these attractions all this time but not noticing it, I don't think it really works that way.

If you think about your ideal sexual fantasy that you know for sure that you are attracted to, you may see that there is a fine line of difference between what you are really attracted to and what you fear being attracted to.