OCD - Women opinion wanted

Hello,

I'm a 27 year old male. I know I won't get much love from this confession but, I beg to any woman that reads this to comment deep down from her heart and feelings what, would be your reaction.

I struggle with OCD since I was 7, so 20 years with this now, I was abused when I was 7 also. I just have a unique specific compulsion that it is ruining my life, compulsive confession of a specific incident. I used to be a child pornography viewer exclusively, no interest on acting on real life whatsoever, I started watching at 14, I was just a kid myself, and found it out by accident in the midst of regular pornography, so I never tough of it as wrong.

Unfortunately and causing much pain in my life, this addiction lasted until I was 20/21 then got a girlfriend and I realized that children were not to be used sexually in anyway, also the love I had for my gf made me change completely. At 24 I feel down in the same addiction again for a few months only, due to a break up with her. I'm 3 years clean of the addiction now.

Now as arguments that I feel that I'm not a dangerous person are that, I had so many opportunities to abuse a child, but deep down me I never, had...interest you see? Parents friends with underage daughters that I had to take care of, underage girls that would hit on me and, nop, not a girl/boy was molested.

Ok so to finish this up. I suffer everyday 24/7 guilt, remorse, shame, fear of talking to a woman, sometimes women hit on me, give me a chance to talk to them, share looks, but I can't I can't just can't go talk to them. Why? Because my mind thinks that if I have a chance with her, I will automatically have to confess her all my past. This thought ruminates me 24/7 everytime I'm with a woman. Also I have the disadvantage of having to confess every single detail of my addictions, or else my OCD/Ego isn't satisfied.

I had 3 girlfriends, that have been pure angles :-p on accepting what I've told them. But every new girl/woman is a mind wreck of anxiety over the issue.

So as I have laid all the cards on the table what do you women would do?

Men's opinions are allowed too :-p

PS: I'm on a psychiatrist, I'm OCD diagnosed, mothers bipolar.

hi bacsb0.

i'm sorry to hear about your childhood abuse and for your struggle.

bacsb0 wrote:what do you women would do?

sorry but could you explain your question in more detail? because i'm not really sure what you're asking, i'm sorry once again.

looking forward to your response.