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HIV Anxiety is really controlling me

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HIV Anxiety is really controlling me

Postby Freemind80 » Thu Nov 06, 2014 3:32 am

About 2 1/2 weeks ago a lab tech came to my house to draw my blood (for life insurance purposes).

The tech was an hour late and he was visibly sick (excessive coughing, sniffling, etc.)

From the get go, everything just didn't feel good. He forgot to swab my arm down, didn't give me a paper for my records, etc. Everything he did was just sloppy and "unprofessional."

After he drew my blood and left, that's when the panic slowly crept into my mind. He was sick and hadn't washed his hands.

So all of these thoughts flooded into my brain. What if he was careless and used an already used needle? What if he had pricked his hand by accident and then used it to draw my blood? After all, these techs are on a tight schedule and the needles they use are part of a box set. Maybe he didn't want to waste time.

And then my nightmare started. Couple of days after, I started getting a tight feeling in my chest and my throat was a bit stiff. About 4 days ago is when the severe nausea started to hit me. There were times where I almost threw up. Staring at a computer screen or eating triggered this severe nausea. I tried going to the gym today and had to stop early because of the nausea. 2 days ago the headaches started to come and it gets pretty painful sometimes. Today, the right side of my throat is a bit sore.

People tell me I had no risk at all but, a part of me still is extremely scared and a complete mess.

After work I come home and just want to sleep and not think about things. This whole ordeal has drained the life out of me and there are times where I feel like I'm going to completely lose it and almost have a panic attack.

People tell me I'm being ridiculous but these symptoms are eating me away.

Am I being ridiculous?

I'm sorry for the long post.

:(
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Re: HIV Anxiety is really controlling me

Postby impromptu » Thu Nov 06, 2014 7:40 am

no. you are not being ridiculous. i'm sorry this is happening to you.. you are not alone with your fears.

hmm. i don't think your fears become reality. but you must try to live with your fears. i'm not asking you to suffer, but i mean just live with the doubt. because that is the only way to deal with your obsessive thought. and your anxiety will be gone eventually.

and.. please consider about getting some support.

you will get through this, good luck.
fminorless life is a living death. hdos.
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