OCD or Im really losing it?? Im scared I have schizophrenia

Hello. Im a teen and I have had OCD more exactly Pure O since last summer. Since then I have been battling with a lot of typed of pure ocd like gay ocd harm ocd scrupulosity ocd and schizophrenia ocd . I had this fear of schizophrenia last summer but I succeded in getting over it but for the last 2 weeks this fear started again and consumed all my life. I feel like Im going crazy. For I don't know what ######6 reason I started googling about schizophrenia agaon (bad move) and found out about delusions and kinds of delusions and guess what just after reading some of them I started getting them. So I know till now sounds like ocd but anxiety is making me feel like I really believe this thought.( I read that one delusion is thinking that people are against you). I know it sounds silly and irrational when Im calm I know it doesn't make any sense and its paranoid and its not true nor real but ocd makes me feel like a believe it even if my mind says "no no no its #######4 none is against you its stupid". So some times I can feel how pathetic this thougut is but sometimes seems so real that Im afraid that soon I will lose all my insight and start believing in this freaking thought and act like crazy. And moreover my intrusive thoughts are like " Do you believe people are against you" and of course I would say NO but I feel like OCD its changing me and my beliefs and soon I will start believing this. Please help me im really scared Im losing it. I know that people who think they are crazy are not but if I ask my mind If i believe if im crazy my mind automatically would say no even if I feel like im losing it. Ohh an important fact is that I DO NOT HAVE ANY FAMILY HISTORY OF SCHIZOPHRENIA and I don't do drugs or anything and also I live in a very happy family. Oh and so to test if Im delusional I would put myself in the most crowded places to see if im scared and Im not or I would think something delusional like What if mom is poisoning my food and to see my reaction and of course I eat it because I know its not true. So has any of you gone through something similar please help me!!! P.S Sorry for my bad english it isn't my native language and sorry for not using paragraphs .

I'm not sure how much I can add to this, as it seems like you have a good idea of what is happening (although your anxiety makes you feel like you should worry). I had this problem for a while and called my doctor in a panic several times.

You don't have a family history of Schizophrenia, and you don't seem to be exhibiting symptoms.

Have you been formally diagnosed with OCD? Are you being treated in any way?

Thank you Otter for your message!! Deep down I know its just anxiety playing its stuff but you know how OCD can trick your mind. Anyways no im not getting any treatment for my anxiety as Im against drug use but I use some tehniques I learnt online. What has helped with my past fears was Brain Lock and the 4 steps but know it seems useless. When I try to ignore the thought it makes this background noise like " You believe it you believe it" pretty annoying I know... Anyways after following someones advice to look on schizophrenics forums to see Im not like that I got another freaking delusional thought " What if the gouvrement tries to kill me" and TRUST ME I know its not ######6 true at all and ######6 paranoid and ######6 crazy and I DO NOT believe it and its funny how when Im hanging out these thoughts NEVER occur ohh and moreover so to prove how silly this thought is I go outside so to be with people ( A schizophrenic would believe this and would not get outside because of fear right?). Ohh and sometimes I like to make fun of the thought and say " Well I hope they kill me soon" or something like this and I laugh. I know how crazy this thought sounds and I DO NOT believe this but when Im high in anxiety I ######6 doubt it and this scares me and say to myself " Wtf dude how could you addmit a probability of this thought to be true it ######6 came from your mind its an intrusive thought get back to reality". Anyways I hope I will get over my fear of losing my mind soon . Oh and I have a question Otter did this happen to you too? and If I have NO family history of schizophrenia there's no chance I can get it right? ( maybe like 1% if I use drugs and stuff right?) Thank you my friend.

The best idea in your case I think is to decide you can't deal with any problems or find any truth when you are afflicted with Pure-O OCD. Whether or not you are schizophrenic (which is pretty impossible since it's turned into a Pure-O OCD theme), you can't deal with any of these problems or find any truth via the OCD, because it will never show you anything but stuff that will try to convince you that you ARE what you fear. It hides facts, creates intrusive thoughts, etc, all to convince you that your fears are true. People's big problem is that they don't realize how counterproductive OCDing over this stuff really is. OCD will always try and convince you that your fears are true. It will never show you anything to the contrary, it's job is to convince you to fear. It doesn't matter how.