weird type of ocd hopfully?

I am anxious right now. I have had pure O kind of ocd for about 5 years now. with a BILLION very odd and different obsessions. However all of which I was able to handle eventually because I wanted to help myself. Well a few weeks ago I had thoughts that were like this, I would question exsistance like why am I me and why do I have my consciousness. Which at first was pretty interesting. But than it turned into Why do I act this way? why didnt I get different Genetics? Why do I think like this? and than I started get anxious at every thing I did or ill be enjoying something than get crazy anxious thinking about this stuff all the sudden. and today I thought of all that than suddenly thought why should I help myself? If I was someone else I wouldn't have these problems. than the final, I dont want to be myself.....Well that happened earlier today and I have been obsessing about that since which is Very depressing. Everything I say or want to do is making me anxious now. I have a pretty good life and I want to say I love myself (anxious typing that) I cant just today decide I after 21 years that I dont want anything to do with myself. I am really trying to help myself by thinking how much this makes me anxious so I must still love and care about myself. does this sound like ocd to you guys? It is obsessions and constant anxiety but its actually focused on my life which is the first time I thought about anything like this. I AM NOT SUICIDAL, I love to many people for that. But this anxiety is leading me to thinking obsessive suicidal thoughts. I take meds and went to therepy for a while. It helped but this is just bizzare.

hey! i can definitely relate with you on this. 1 year from now, my pure-o became very strong, and i also started questioning everything. I think if I look to a Lamp, or a carpet, i can start looping and obsessin' things about it.So, of course I also obsess about my consciousness, to a point where i don't even know who or what i am anymore. And It makes me feel automatic, aloof, numb.

Mixing it with my other 200 other obsessions, turns life into a living hell.