HOCD Vs. Bisexual

I see a lot of confused and troubled thinking here about sexuality where posters think they can go from being instantly straight to instantly gay but in my experience it doesn't work that way. Being attracted to men isn't something you "think you are" it get exposed when you are in a real life face to face situation with a man and you find yourself attracted to something about him and you experience a mental and physical reaction that what you are looking at is arousing to you. For example, when I was a teenager I first noticed that whenever a well built muscular man had his shirt off around me I could not stop staring at his chest. I would describe what I felt as a feeling of light-headedness in the brain and a half-erection in the body. I became very phobic of men with their shirts off and this would happen at the worst times, sometimes I'd be riding in the car with my mother and a muscular jogger with his shirt off would be walking by and I swear I wanted her to drive faster so that I didn't have to see him because I knew I was going to stare at him and I didn't want my mother to detect this and for her to think I was gay. Eventually I realized that men's chests was an area where I had gay tendencies. I wasn't interested in men's faces, I was interested in their muscular uncovered chests.

If you have real gay tendencies like I have it isn't the end of the world and it is possible to have at least some gay tendencies even if you've been interested in women your whole life. It doesn't mean however that you have to change your social life and start dating men. You'd be surprised how many straight guys you know have hidden gay tendencies that they just never share because they don't want to be called gay. So what I'm getting at is your first problem is that you are trying to "find gay", you don't find gay, gay finds you, so stop pondering whether you are gay or not, the pondering doesn't solve anything and it is HOCD talking.