OCD Relapse!?

ok let me just start from the beginning. Alot has happened in my family this year. This might be a little graphic depending on how you look at it. My dad had a foot injury for starters and since he had diabetes he had to get his foot amputated so he was in the hospital from Sept - Dec 23, 2013 and he came back right before Christmas...Thank God.. Then this year, in mid-January my sister started having seizures.....and on top of this all, im pretty confident a have Pure-O OCD and Hypochondria. "I was afraid that i would get seizures as a result of my sister having it." I'm older than her and was never diagnosed with seizures so that statement is completely irrational but since i have OCD i think i will develop seizures and many different health problems.

In February one night i checked up this health condition I've only heard of ONCE "my curiosity got the best of me." Schizophrenia. One of the symptoms are like delusions and seeing things. Now im constantly checking to see if i see something and caused alot of distress. March was a really good month, i was doing spring track, my dad got a prosthetic leg which is better than none at all and my sister wasn't having seizures. I wasn't thinking of OCD or mental conditions as month and haven't until early this week. I had a small allergic reaction to something and one thing led to another and I started thinking i was going to develop a seizure.


Now im back in my OCD cycle and I cant shake my OCD thoughts away...I don't want to tell my parents because of all that's happening in my family but i did tell my mom not like everything but that "I'm scared if what if I have a mental disorder." and she said that's not me and i haven't been diagnosed with one. The worst part is I've gotten rid of these thought before and for them to come back is really distressing can anyone give me any advice??? Thanks!!

I have recovered from OCD and had it come back again. It's not the end of the world because it's just OCD and there is nothing substantive behind the fears. My brain seems "trained" to find the worst case scenario at times. I think that happens as an extreme reaction to try to protect myself from something I fear. I notice my OCD tends to get worse when I feel isolated from those around me.

It sounds like you are just going through the flawed OCD "defense mechanism" rather than anything substantive.

As scary as it might sound, you just have to ignore those fears sometimes. Your OCD "defense" is trained to eliminate all uncertainty about something you might fear. How much evidence is required for you to believe that you will not develop a seizure or develop Schizophrenia? If you cannot give a concrete answer on that then you have just proven that you have OCD.

Thanks for your reply, I realized its irrational about developing seizures and schizophernia but NOW I'm having thoughts of killing my family and people I love and it's really intense......

Same thing happens to me. When I get over one form of OCD my mind tries to jump to another - then I KNOW it's OCD.

As real as the feelings feel, someday in the future you are going to realize that they were just that - feelings - and that they had no bearing on reality.

You're not going to hurt your family. The OCD is trying to make you feel that way because it knows you're better than that and that it will upset you to feel like that.

hey one more thing, this is kind of a pure-o ocd kind of thing. the thing is that my ocd keeps constantly switching from schizophrenia to hurting others to etc. For example for schizophrenia one of the symptoms is seering things that aren't there. Now i would be on the computer and constantly check my surroundings to see if i see anything when nothing is there but i also constantly check to see and want to learn how to stop obsessing and compulsing. Thanks!!!!

Yours is a simple case of fighting your own thoughts. I'd say that most normal people would ignore those kind of thoughts while you try to fight them. It is at the very point where you feel GUILTY for the thoughts or where you feel you have to UNDO them that you have already lost the battle. Also, the second you feel the need to PROVE that you do not have schizophrenia, you have already lost the battle IMHO.

What should I do then to change my thinking

I would say the first step might be to acknowledge that having unwanted thoughts does not make you guilty of anything. Let me illustrate using the Bible.

Satan tempted Jesus in the desert by telling Jesus to throw Himself off a cliff to prove He was God and Jesus didn't sin by having that thought put into His head.

Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written:
‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’"
Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’” Matthew 4:5-7

Jesus didn't think to Himself, "throw myself off a cliff? I must be a horrible person to have these thoughts." And He didn't say "I'd better prove I am God by throwing myself off this cliff to prove that angels will save me." He already knew that was true and trying to prove that point would really be a point of unbelief (or doubt) rather than faith.

I don't know what you believe but I hope you understand my point here. Beyond that, I would recommend reading a free online book called "Shredding the Paper Tiger." I found it very helpful in dealing with OCD and I think you would too. Just Google "Shredding the Paper Tiger Book" and it should be the first hit.

Thank you! That really helped because I am a Christian and that can help me relate!!!!