Hocd help please

I've always obsessed over things, illnesses my weight, my body image. My mind has always been my biggest enemy. Not many people know that about me. I'm an athlete, come from a great family and everything. One night I was smoking some weed with my buddies and I was just sitting there and it felt my mind patched together a bunch of random memories and just told me that I was gay this whole time unknowingly. Now I've never been attracted to a guy, never had feelings for one either. I mean I have a few close friends that I love and would do anything for but that's normal. I've never touched another guy in any way and kind of always been weirded and grossed out by anything gay. (No offense!!) But that's just not me. I had a girlfriend for over 4 years, I've hooked up with numerous other girls and have had crushes on some girls as well. Now as a little kid you have to find yourself and experiment to find out for yourself so I do remember looking at gay stuff when I was little just to see what it was, and obviously I didn't enjoy it. I just don't know how to get these thoughts out of my head, the thoughts patch together me being on the wrestling team, liking wwf and wwe stuff. I don't want these thoughts but now everytime I see a guy I'm over analyzing them. The only time I actually look at guys is at the gym to just see their physique but that's a normal competitive nature I feel we all possess. I do not want these thoughts but my mind is telling me I do want these and I'm hiding from my own reality. I find it so stupid because I know how my mind is and I feel like I can obsess over everything, and as soon as I start too I look stuff up on the internet and read. Any help? Thanks!

If you get a chance go read the forum I just responded too "H-OCD" - porn addiction? Or anyone of my articles. I'm a male around the same age as you (20) and like you have a girlfriend and have had sex and feelings for other girls in the past before the onset of this HOCD. Know what your going through, feels like hell and the thoughts won't stop, even though you don't get a hard on thinking about men or watching gay porn your mind still tells you your gay, I know. I've been through all of it and suggest you receive the same treatment as I have been going through. CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) and take anti depressants (SSRIs) along with each other. If you don't treat this for what it is - a form of OCD- than you will not get better. It's all about exposing yourself to your fear enough that it eventually loses it's doubting grip on you, the thoughts it fires in your head. Go look at any of the forums I responded too or wrote. You can message me if you would like to as well. Goodluck n get help. Don't live in your mind and in silence, trust me

Hey guys Im a teenage girl and I'm going through hocd too. Basically, I've loved boys all my life, wanted to be with them and so on. Never had a crush on a girl. Hocd keeps making me think I have never loved guys and I want to be with girls. I've seen lesbian porn before and I was turned on, I've also seen opposite sex porn which I was turned on by. I've had same sex experiences which I hated. Been In love with a boy before (but it was long distance) I loved him soo much :/. Even when I searched lesbians when I was 12 I always loved boys. Theres something about boys thats I love so much I've had some same sex fantasies and I often have opposite sex fantasies. When I thought about kissing my friend I nearly threw up.
If you need more detail please message me thanks:D