Slipping into depression, someone help

I'm so down right now, I just want to lie in bed forever until this goes away, I don't know if I'm a pedophile or not and I can't take much more of this.

I use to suffer from what people call HOCD (OCD focused around homosexuality) fearing I was gay an what not but I eventually got over that managed to beat it and haven't had it since but now it's the things about being a pedophile. I've always been attracted to women my own age but I feel as if it has changed, I read an article that said your sexuality was completely set by 15 and that pedophillia doesn't normally come on after the age of around 13 - 14, this gave me some relief I wasn't a pedophile but then I read that pedophiles don't really want to give up their attraction so I questioned if I had it again and would I want to give it up and I don't know, so I decided to check (my worries are around ages like 13-15 I'm 17) and I could get aroused etc I was checking to someone 13, I sort of said to myself okay if you're a pedophile you can change it so just relax and see if you can enjoy it, it felt like I did, I mean I did I climaxed eventually, I mean I didn't really want to and I kept stopping like getting the feeling then stopping because it was just depressing me, then checking again, until eventually I did finish. After I had I did feel relief that I had no feeling towards anything or children, which made me happy, now te feelings back, as if I want to get off to these things but I don't want to do it if you understand, the feelings there but I don't want to get my hand to do it, even though the feeling and everything is there I don't understand how this could be OCD, I mean I was doing well not checking and things, until now, now I don't see how it could be OCD. I'm just so down, thanks for looking this over

I had the same experience! First HOCD and then POCD and then it started other OCDS! I promise you! If you keep letting this go, your 'OCD' will only get worse.
But I have beaten it! I have been trough the worst! And I keep back better than ever before! Now I know I will never have any kind of OCD ever again. I have found the permanent cure!


I have written a book. The information you find here will be golden! You pay for it, but Im doing it for free! So make sure you read it and MAKE SURE you do the mental exercises there!

Refer abck to the book again and again. Trust me, I have had experience!