INTJ Personality and Pure O OCD?

So today I took the Briggs Meyers personality test and it says that I am an INTJ. I was doing a bit of research on this and I kept seeing things like they are psychopaths and sociopaths and stuff like that and I got scared because I have violent thoughts/impulses and it is a real struggle for me to be able to tell if I am a psychopath or not. I don't really know if I care about other people anymore? I just seem really heartless and it seems like I don't care. I'm really scared because what if I actually do kill someone. Would I care? I don't know what to think anymore. It seems like I only care about myself nowadays. I'm only 16 and I'm terrified of being a psychopath. So are all psychopaths INTJs? I read that many villains are and that really got my heart racing. I have been having these thoughts for years now and when they first started, I felt scared all the time. I still kind of do but it seems like I'm more numb to my emotions about myself and others but it seems like I care about myself more. I'm worried because my dad was a sociopath but I moved away from him when I was 8 and do you think I could be a sociopath like him? I feel fear and embarrassment and stuff like that but I feel like its getting harder for me to feel empathy or guilt (but I'm not sure if I've done anything to feel guilty of or not) Please help me. Do you think I'm a psychopath or sociopath? Any response will help. Thank you.

You remind me of myself. My current obsession is exactly like yours. To the letter. Yes, some "villians" are INTJ, but not every single one is. To think that all people are is what my therapist calls a "cognitive distortion." INTJs are not all ASPD. Some might be, sure, but it is impossible to say that all are. I think that the thought that INTJs are sociopaths comes from the media, where villains are portrayed as that sort of intellectual, logical type. It's funny to see how the media can affect people's vision of things. Another thing to point out is that if you did have ASPD, you really wouldn't care about having it. Also, while sociopaths are intellectually able to differentiate between right and wrong, they just don't care, which you, by having this fear in the first place, by caring enough to be disgusted by the intrusive thoughts, are doing the exact opposite of. This is the kind of stuff that I tell myself when I'm having an obsessive period. Also, the numb feeling is most likely depression. If you feel comfortable enough, and you aren't already doing so, you should go see a professional.Therapy has helped me in so many different ways. Also, I'm sorry you had to go through that with your father. Good luck.

It is really hard for me to rationalize with myself (if you know what I mean) so right away when someone says "psychopaths don't care if they are a psychopath" my brain goes "Do I care if I was a psychopath?" It is ridiculous because I've had that fear for months now and all of a sudden my brain is going against itself. I very badly want to go to a therapist of some sort but my mom won't let me because A,) we can't afford it, B.) She still has the mindset that OCD just means washing your hands a lot, and C.) She doesn't really think it's affecting me. That bothers me because how am I going to approach my mother with "Mom, I feel confused all the time because I get brutal thoughts of killing people"? If she heard that, off to jail I go! I think I am depressed but I also feel numb to sadness now, though I will sometimes get random urges to cry for no apparent reason. Also, whenever I look things up about OCD I keep finding things like "I feel so guilty for having these thoughts" but I don't feel guilty. I don't exactly see why I should if they are just thoughts? But, of course, this makes me afraid like "that means I won't feel guilty about if I killed someone". (Where do I sign up to get a new brain?) Anyway, a different story entirely that my brain seems to think is connected somehow is a few months ago my only friend told me that she had a crush on me. I had a panic attack and felt like throwing up a lot. My mom found out soon after and she told me that I wasn't allowed to speak to her anymore because she is a really strong Christian who is against homosexuality and all that. Well then she took away my phone and I haven't spoken to my friend since. The thing is, I dont really care that I can't talk to her anymore. She was kinda annoying but I should feel bad or something. I do miss her a bit in the sense of "i want to tell my friend about that thing that happenes today" but I don't really miss her ( if you understand at all what I'm talking about). But I always feel like being alone and I just want to spend forever on my computer or with a good book about black holes or something. I don't feel like I need to have friends ever. Maybe that's the depression? I know that depression runs in my family. My sister is bipolar and used to self harm at about my age , she was fortunate enough to go to a therapist. So I guess my mom thinks I have to self harm in order to get help? I don't want to self harm but I really want someone to talk through these thoughts with. Well I'm sorry this is so long. I've been having this on my mind for so long that it's affecting my sleeping. Thank you, again.

The fact that you are constantly questioning yourself about your condition suggests "pure-o". It's not necessarily that you have to feel guilty about it, it's the fact that you cannot tolerate doubt about the question. It's the idea that you have to be 100% certain that "x" thought isn't true, and knowing that you can't be 100% certain, but yet continually turning the issue over in your head in search of impossible certainty.

So say to yourself, I don't think I am a sociopath, but right now there is a small chance i could be. Until further evidence comes to light about my situation, I am going to choose to focus on other things. Try meditation, it trains your brain to shift your attention when under duress.

It worries me to think that I even couldbe a sociopath. Do I show the qualities of one? This worries me a lot and I know being unsure makes me feel terrible and I really want to feel certain. Now I just feel scared that I could be a sociopath.

The fear of uncertainty is a really big one in the world of OCD. If you had a definite answer yes, you could get help. If you had a definite answer no, you could stop worrying. The problem is, you're brain finds all of these little possibilities, even though most don't indicate anything. And a good thing to remember is that some things that your brain tells you aren't even true. Think about this. A hypochondriac man thinks he has a disease, say cancer. After reading about his particular worry, he starts feeling the symptoms of the disease. These symptoms are psychosomatic. They don't exist, but since the brain thinks they should be there, they appear. So, since your brain is an organ, it follows that your brain can make up thoughts and feelings. Anyway, I'm sorry I brought up sociopaths not caring. That probably just accentuated your fears, and I apologize. And yes, wanting to be alone is a sign of depression. I'm really sorry that you can't see a therapist. But until you can, what thinking13 said is a very good thing to do. A big part of getting over this is getting over your fear of uncertainty. Just as you would do to other intrusive thoughts, just let the thought come in and roll right back out. Don't try to rationalize them, don't try to reason with them, don't argue with them. Also, you should show your mom this link. http://www.ocduk.org/sites/default/files/understand-pure-o.pdf.pdf It really helps people to understand what's going on. Best of luck.

You have to embrace the uncertainty. If you think you are a sociopath, who cares? What makes you a socio path is if you do socio path things...but you didn't! even if you did, you know it is wrong..the thing with you people is that you dwell over something that will never ever happen and TRUST ME, youw will react the right way if you ever get into a situation like that...so why bother even thinking about that? What matters is that you don't react to it, so worry not. Read that guide and MAKE SURE you perform the exercises provided there, it will FOR SURE eradicate these irrational feelings. Good luck!

Thank you so much! I read that link and it was so accurate I started crying. I'm going to send it to my mum soon. It was right about how it's hard to open up and have people actually understand. When i told my sister that I had OCD she said "no you don't. When you got into my car you didn't close the door 5 times". So maybe I'll send her the link, too. I have been through the OCD cylce hundreds of times already, I'm sure.II'm currently at the "if I don't care about these thoughts, do I want to have them?" Stage. It was so nice to have that guide to explain things so clearly. Also, I don't blame you for the paychopath thought, my mind makes connections where there shouldn't be. Thank you again! I was finally able to have a good night's sleep (:

You're welcome! I'm just glad I could help.