My OCD is putting tension in my relationship.

HI MadM -

I'm glad I could help. As far as home remedies, I gave it some thought, and I'm not sure if my way would help you. My OCD is a little different. At any rate, I have a tendency to walk into the fear now. Here is a for-instance.

**strong trigger**

Say I'm walking out of a mall and there are two garbages to put your trash in. I happen to have a wrapper in my hand and I throw it out in the first garbage. And let's say I am 30 miles away from home for some reason. In the past I would drive nearly thirty miles and my thought would be "go back and take the wrapper out of garbage one and put it into number two, or something bad will happen". I couldn't tell you what that something would be, but all of my being felt some sort of doom would happen. So, yep, I went back and did the compulsive act, just so I wouldn't feel the doom. One hour wasted doing something most people would think was silly or crazy.

These days, if a thought hits me like that, I just say, "fine thought, then doom me". In other words, I step into the doom I am feeling. The monster turns into a paper tiger instantly, the wizard is revealed behind the curtain and I drive on home.

*** end trigger ***

As far as you and your boyfriend are concerned, mental illness makes people mature quickly - but only those who have the ability to adapt and mature. From what i have seen and experienced it takes two major factors to help build a lasting relationship in these circumstances - 1. that the person who is suffering, accepts what is happening and is willing to be treated and stick with it, and 2. that their mate is willing to take the journey with them and change when change is needed. It may take some work, but that kind of journey builds strong bonds because it uses compassion, patients, sacrifice, trust and understanding to form that bond. But some of the best love, the deeper love, comes out of this journey, so that is what I hope for you.

Otter.

What Otter is saying about leaning in to the anxiety is exactly right from a behavioral perspective.

So my advice, would be, say a pan isnt how you like it, let the pan be. Lean in to the idea of oh well this pan will be forever ###$ up and now I just have to live with it. If the pan is genuinely dirty, try leaving a portion of it imperfect. This will be activating at first. But practicing this leads to habituation and it starts to matter less the more you do it.

The only way out from anxiety is through!

Thanks, you two! It's gonna be a long road fighting my own mind, but it definitely sounds do-able. I've never liked the idea of just ignoring the thoughts, but that seems the most logical and main way of getting over it. I was hoping for an easy-to-do trick but that's just silly...

Thank you. I will be making an appointment with a therapist soon and I plan on talking on here during my trip down Get-Over-It Isle. Can't wait!