is this hocd?

sooo... i havent been diagnosed with OCD yet but i'm pretty sure i have it. recently i have been having intrusive thoughts over basically anything (ever since october, dont know what caused it to start then) and other stuff. one example of the other things that i think might be the cause of ocd is whenever i draw i find something wrong with whatever i draw and i focus right on that error and i keep drawing the same thing over and over again to see the error over and over again and sometimes i would just freak out and start crying. i would be thinking "dude its just a drawing why are u freaking out its so stupid" but then just thinking about that i would freak out even more because i would end up thinking im insane and need to be locked up or something. this is just an example of the many things i have been worrying about, the worries change almost every day. i get anxious and obsess over anything like the way i type, the way i laugh, the way my eyes look or my hair looks and i fixate over this stuff obsessively. i start to cry alot and get really sad or suicidal because i believe i wont ever feel like myself again.. what im having ocd difficulties with currently is this thought that i'm lesbian. i have been straight for my entire life, i love boys and i get crushes on new boys every other day and i get obsessions over celebrity boys or singers all the time but ive been feeling different suddenly. ive had a crush on a boy on the internet and ever since this fear of being lesbian started i kind of lost my feelings for him??? i used to be really infatuated with this kid but then i slowly lost interest and whenever i started with this fear all interest that i had left of him i lost. and whenever i watch tv or just even look at a girl i get these thoughts of "did i just think she was cute oh no oh no" and other stuff and then i get flushed every other time i see a girl and that just makes me think im even more gay.. im afraid to go to school on tuesday because im afraid ill look at a girl or hear the word lesbian or something and get all anxious or start blushing. ive been reading around this website and looking at the answers to some peoples questions about the same stuff im going through and most of the answers say stuff "face the fear that u could be gay" (i think???) but i dont want to accept the fact that i could be lesbian! i think to myself, thinking of me saying to someone "yeah im lesbian" and it freaks me out and i just get flushed and nervous. i dont like that thought and i dont want to be lesbian.. i want to be straight, i want to get boyfriends. theres nothing wrong with others being gay or anything but its just not me.. i dont know what to do and i feel like if i keep thinking and worrying about being lesbian i'll just actually turn lesbian and i dont want that to happen and it scares the living hell out of me. what should i do? i just want this fear to go away and go on to another one or for this whole ocd stuff to go away completely. im sorry if i offended anybody in this

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