Disturbing Dream *Warning! May Trigger*

I already suffer from Social Anxiety but have never sought a diagnosis for OCD because my repetitive behaviours (Tap checking, turning off switches etc) have never interfered with my daily functioning.

However I have recently been getting occasional thoughts of a graphic nature,. which make me feel so disgusted. Thankfully they haven't lasted too long, and I have been able to dismiss them after a short while.

Eventually I forgot all about it, until last night, when I had the most horrifically vile dream. I feel some embarrassment confessing this however I feel I must express it because it is really getting to me.

... In this dream (or nightmare) I witnessed my little brother (who is only 4) getting sexually abused by a group of men (all of whom I know in real life). I felt so disgusted with myself once I had woken up because in this dream I never bothered to stop the act. I just watched.

Even now I am trying to figure out why on earth I would dream of something as revolting as that. I would never do it or ever allow anyone else to do it. I just feel so disgusted with myself right now and don't know what to do.

Don't be ashamed, you have to remember that you can't control your dreams unless you're a lucid dreamer and sometimes not even then. It took a long time for me to learn that. I used to have dreams that I would be having sex with my family members (dad, brothers, mom, aunts, uncles.) I would obsess about it all day and it affected my relationships with these people because I was ashamed and didn't want to talk to them because I was afraid that I would feel some type of sexual feeling towards them. I found out the more time I obsessed about it, the more dreams like this would happen because it became such an obsessive thought.

Dreams don't mean that you enjoy the thought of something like that happening to your brother, it's just something that your subconscious came up with while it was throwing things together.

Hope this helped, and know that you're not alone.