How to not get so self conscious about my voice?

This anxiety has ruined my life for the past 3 years. Basically, I have been obsessed with how my voice sounds, after I heard several times that the tone of it can make or break a first impression. My compulsion has been to carry my playbook with me at all times, and use its video camera to record my voice. Then I'll go to a quiet place and play it back to myself, listening to how it sounds.

Anyway, how do people NOT care about their voice? Like, how do people get over that feeling of "do I really sound like that?" after they listen to a recording of their own voice?

I'm so ashamed of myself. I have such a low voice, and I think it's overly-low. I am therefore stuck in this mindset that I have to be "manly" all the time and show no emotion! (I am a male, btw.)

Hi Minsker,

I know this is terrible of me, but I had to laugh at your post and try and make light of it to myself, to some extent anyway.

The way you had written that text was ''funny'' because I can see the suffering and feeling of helplessness because of the problem, not in a sadistic way I find it funny but because I know the intensity of any obsession. Although I haven't obsessed about this issue I saw it as very petty and humorous just because of the steps you take to study yourself. It's no joke I know, I know the reality of these obsessions but I thought ''Wow you're really that worried about that? And ashamed of yourself for such a small matter?!''. No disrespect of course!

I have thoughts about my general appearance quite often and it's quite ridiculous when you think of it in retrospect, I think you must try to let these things go -
''I look sooooo ugly'' - ''I wish I didn't look like this'' - ''How come I do look like this?''. I won't allow people to take photos of me and if they do I always ask they delete them and am constantly studying myself if they don't, complaining and whining.

My voice is also extremely deep and have been mocked about it, people respond in a monotone voice... My voice is actually so deep it vibrates steel chairs when talking. My voice is also quite monotonous which has resulted in people say to me ''You sound so depressed! Just cheer up already!'' solely because my voice is extremely deep, not that I looked depressed or am upset... It's very insulting but I've just tried to live with that and not obsess about my voice as I certainly could obsess too.

I just think as time progresses this obsession will eventually drop off. Gradually try to stop thinking of it and try to let it go. Really, just don't worry about your voice too much. I know how hard it is considering it's a existent problem and a very physical and realistic problem but you must remind yourself how small the issue is in comparison to what's happening to others on this planet, in this world of ours and what's going on to those around you!

I honestly think your voice would be the last of others problems so you need to work on accepting this problem yourself. No need to not show emotion based on the fact your voice sounds masculine! Don't be silly! I've seen the strongest grown man I know, physically robust and emotionally strong, deep voice and very muscular build bawl/cry his eyes out like a newborn baby!
So don't convince yourself you need to live like that!

Bless you and will reply later, etc, etc

Hi ocd44,

I don't mind that you laughed at my post. I would have laughed at it myself! Such a small problem indeed.

It has been three years since this obsession started, like I said. To be honest, I have noticed a small improvement from the beginning to now. I think my obsession waxes and wanes depending on the day - when I get little sleep, and I'm all tired and my vocal chords aren't rested, I get more obsessed than when I'm well-rested and I have no problem communicating clearly with others.

One wise adult I talked to said that it's not my voice that's the problem, it's my obsession with it.

I have recently been given a higher dosage of meds for my OCD, and I think that's why I've noticed the small improvement.