Why is that groinal response in hocd so strong?

Ok people, may be you've heard that kind of stuff pretty often but the same old painful question is coming again: Why??
As a hocd sufferers you surely did ask yourselves many times (yes?) and probably you didn't get much answers. And if someone is able to give a good answer...he's welcome. He'll be much helpful for me at least...
So... does anybody have this awful experience so strong, making him feel god damn crazy and always wanting to search for answers and explanation? How can a person really get over this?
If i must put myself in attempt to get over hocd how must i fight that groinal response? If you try to get over your fear of being gay by exposing yourself to gay stuff and thoughts like that...what is the best in that situation? I'm asking because i have the following situation. May be some of you does too:
when i have my gay obsessions and thoughts i try to welcome them, not escaping from them. But /for example/ when i try to masturbate or else on that obsessions it's just like i'm not feeling awful by those thoughts but joining them That feel is so real /you know what i'm talking about/ i just can't escape it and instead of feeling disgusted /as i really am/ by intrusive thoughts my sick mind tells me that i like them. I know everything is false and it's an actually biologic reaction of some kind but it's really getting uncertainty and anxiety. And it's really getting on my nervous. Because it is ruining my attempts to meet my fears of becoming gay and it's making me escaping from them even more - it's like "if i masturbate now on my obsesiions i'll surely get orgasm bc i know how horny i can get of my groinal response". And in the end it's really happening I just cant really meat my fears because my attempt is giving me more and fresh fears
If you have that problem what are you trying to do, to think of so you can get a good result?
And one another thing - how exactly a person can expose himself to the things that scares him? I mean if you have hocd and your mind is telling you you're gay you must... start visiting more and more gay websites, watching more gay porn, searching for coming out videos on you tube, watching gay magazines or that kind of $#%^...? those things i think can really make your condition more confusing, even worse...
And please don't tell that if i must overcome my gay fears i must put myself between gay people. This is very stupid... and helpless Just try to imagine how you go for example on some gay club at night or introduce yourself to gay people asking them to tell you more about beeing gay... It's funny people...and not realistic

Okay, I suffered from POCD, which is 10 times worse, and took my so much time and talks with my mom and my best friend to accept that I am not attracted to children.

So a lot of times when you fear you might become attracted to something if you starting at something, the feelings are not typically arousal, but mostly anxiety. For example, if you think about a vesectomy for a long time, your private will start feeling uncomfortable, just try it.

Is that the kind of response you are talking about? Where you feel something in the private area, but it isn't the same as when you're thinking of something that really turns you on or that makes you feel pleasure?

I know I probably can't convince you of anything based on what you said, but I still don't understand what is so terrible about being gay anyway. For me, the fact that I am around children, I definitely would be freaked out if I was feeling that any thoughts of love I had for them were anything more than just platonic, but being attracted just to the same gender is nothing to be ashamed of. Are you attracted to the opposite sex? If you are, the worst you'd be is bisexual anyway, and if you don't wanna be in a same sex relationship, then don't get into one.

JackM678 wrote:Okay, I suffered from POCD, which is 10 times worse...

With all due respect Jack, no one "kind" of OCD is better or worse than the other. The severity and impact of OCD is measured by the intensity of anxiety that a person is experiencing. Fear is fear. Someone's fear may seem lame to another person, but not to the person who is going through it. Since the thoughts are not realistic to begin with they can't be weighed as better or worse based what "kind" it is.

To the original post. It is very hard to think your way out of OCD once it has taken hold of you. I don't recommend it, but I'm not saying it can't be done. Have you thought about a therapist you can hash it out with? Get a third party to tell you what they see. There are many ways to treat OCD and a therapist will be able to guide you.

Otter.

From someone who has had many types of OCD, I definitely disagree that no types are better or worse than the other.

Someone who has OCD where they have to wash their hands a lot or double check several times to make sure they locked their car is nowhere near as bad off as someone with sexual obsessions in OCD.

If you look up POCD, many websites say psychologists have considered it the worst and most self destructive form of OCD that there is. That is debatable I'm sure, but at the same time there are definitely some forms of OCD not nearly as severe.

I've had types of OCD in where I feared people not answering e-mails hated me or were angry with me to where it occupied my mind, but it didn't cause thoughts of suicide and self harm.


Anyway, my original comment about the groin response still remains and something you should consider. If you're thinking about your penis, you'll feel something most likely even if it isn't sexual.

If you don't mind me asking, why are you afraid to be gay? Is it your religion, family, society? Homosexuality is not a choice, so you either are or aren't. It also isn't something you're going to become. If the idea of sexual activity with another man doesn't appeal to you, you aren't gay, it is that simple. If you can't accept that principle, then you probably have to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. It is an extreme case where no matter how many times someone is told they are not x, they don't believe it or fully accept that.

Jack, I have sent you a PM rather than continue out discussion here. Good luck to you Starchild.

Did you read this website Starchild? http://ocdspecialists.com/2013/07/hocd- ... -response/

That explains the groinal response and indicates that out of fear you can have this response when you are thinking about your penis at the time when questioning whether or not you are gay.

I like to thank you for posting this because it answered questions I had about my POCD.

A lot of times I would look at non-pornographic pictures of little boys to make sure I wasn't attracted to them and would get that groinal response. It wasn't an erection though, but I had it for years before and sometimes it was out of fear, but other times I disregarded it as it wasn't causing that urge.

Sometimes it could be out of excitement or happiness too. Sometimes when I just get excited and happy over nothing sex related I get a tingly feeling there, and since I love kids, being able to work with kids and spend quality time like I'm a kid again often makes me happy, even just the thought of it.

The other problem for me was some of my fantasies involve discipline and dominance and sometimes when people mention children in the disciplinary context it would trigger adult fantasies and it made me confused, but at the same time realized I am not attracted sexually to kids and don't desire one as a sex partner. I'm a gay man, and I am attracted to men, and I feel that is okay. I hope we move on in society where being gay isn't considered sinful or abnormal, because then hopefully HOCD will go away.

[quote="JackM678"]Did you read this website Starchild? http://ocdspecialists.com/2013/07/hocd- ... -response/
Thanks for the article, Jack, i'll look at it later, may be i've already read it.

That explains the groinal response and indicates that out of fear you can have this response when you are thinking about your penis at the time when questioning whether or not you are gay.

It might have smthing pretty common, if i think about it i sense i can get to some answers and probably be knowing why but... not sure.

I like to thank you for posting this because it answered questions I had about my POCD.
I want to thank you to bc you give me good exercise of trying explain my hocd
And about your question why i fear so much of being gay? If i can say right now without thinking, it's just-not-me, man. I'm not that kind of a person, i'm not gay, i don't feel it and i don't need it. I know some gay guys and it will be long to explain here, but i'll write to you on pm, is that ok?
In some ways the society even sometimes the religion affects me a little bit but that is not the real person. It's just that i'm not gay and i can't imagine beeing althoug my hocd extremely tells me i am or i might be gay. And by now the first fear in my head is this: if i was a gay, i could easily and quick say "bye-bye", normal life, and welcome, hell. Some people still are fingering gay persons and if i was like it, if i was a gay i would hide myself all life trying to escape everybody and the thought that i'm gay would be awful bc i don't like thinking of a boy in the sexual way /although again my sick hocd mind tells me how i love these thoughts/. It's just not me, man i can't live with the thought that i could like or fall in love with boys, it sooo against my personal nature, my personal world, thoughts, relations, everything. And if i was a gay what i would say to my friends, my family...? "I'm gay, people, hurray for it!" i can imagine my life going upside down and everything turning hell. And the thought that i just can even like touching or looking a boy at the sexual way gives me anxiety. I can give you so many examples and i'll do. On pm, if you don't mind... let's leave place for other people to say if they can...

You're welcome to send me a PM if you'd like.

However, you said you're not gay, so I would say that means you should be putting this behind you now. You can't become gay if you're not already.

to be honest I am suffering from pocd now and just dealt with transgender ocd after 1 whole year obsessing over homosexuality yes we all got groinal responses in our sexual obsessions but as I experienced ... hocd's groinal response is different than the pocd's what so ever its both nonsexual I am gonna post some link in here it may help you figuring out stuff about hocd's groinal response its a good point that you believe its groinal response unlike me I used to know it can be but I was blinded
so this is an anxiety fake arousal when I tell you DONT THINK OF A WHITE BEAR what did you just experience you just did think of or even imagined right ? try to think of anything but the white bear for at least 3 minutes cant ? of course
here is the link , best of luck ,Leena

http://ocdspecialists.com/2013/07/hocd- ... -response/